Thriving in Contentment

Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? Prov. 27:4

Today, we add to our knowledge of thriving by learning to abstain from enslavement to one of the worst of our out-of-control emotions. Today we study jealousy.

Anger (covered in last week’s blog) is one of the emotions that generally parades around for all to see. Yet, jealousy is a quiet, stubborn parasite that exploits its host, benefiting itself (or the devil) in the process. It stirs up and spreads hidden toxic damage and is very hard to uproot. When these toxins finally present themselves, others find it difficult to stand before such powerful feelings. Jealousy never gives anything in return.

Jealousy isn’t generated by something from without but from within. It is a dreaded green-eyed creature that entirely takes over when a person entertains even a single grievance. Sad frustrations feed the monster as it grows considerably by the moment.

Perhaps such envy doesn’t become outwardly violent, but it can turn to passive-aggressive irritations and unkindness’s toward those begrudged.

We want something because someone else has it, therefore we nag or complain until we get our wishes. We put aside the purchases we need and use our resources to impulsively buy what we want. We throw away our own God-given talents in pursuit of qualities we see others possess.

What is it that we envy? We envy a person’s house, life, career, spouse, talents, popularity, gentleness, calmness or organization. However, if we were to list our topics of jealousy and then make a list of the qualities or possessions we already have, the list would reveal how well off we really are. Maybe it would open our eyes!

Envy is defined as a discontented or resentful longings, desires or grudges for someone else’s stuff, character, or luck and a deafness to our own current blessings and gifts.

The opposite of jealousy is contentment, generosity or a genuine happiness for other people’s achievements. We have a quiet peace that invades our souls instead of always grabbing for more.

Jealousy happens when a person improperly puts his attention (wants, desires, lust) more on an earthly thing than it should be. It is selfishly motivated, not others-centered. Jealousy takes up the entire mind in obsessive reverence for something that is not God. Instead of worship and praise, the person is worshiping himself or the things he is jealous for.

When I am feeding my jealousy, I cannot be in a state of worship to God. Likewise, when I am feeding my desire to worship, I cannot be in a state of jealousy.

In a state of reverential worship, my mind is submitted to what God wants me to do with what I have. There is no sense of lack. “The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.” Psalm 23.

I asked my husband how he would define jealousy or envy. He felt that it was something born from insecurity. “I’m not good enough. I have to prove myself. The more I achieve or earn, the higher my value. Therefore, I exhaust myself, yearning for what others have or for what I perceive they have. I seek approval and end up giving up my power to others.“

My husband remarked how this dilemma is quite unsatisfying. Even if a person gets what he wants, the attainment is never enough.

The never enough dynamic is so true. A child fights for the toy the other child has, but when he finally gets a turn to play with the toy, he loses interest. It’s not the toy he wanted in the first place!

Envy happens when we want something so badly, we become blinded to how we treat people who get in our way. Sometimes, envy is easy to spot in ourselves. Just follow our irritations and they typically lead us to our jealousies.

Certainly, we may feel justified because of our circumstances. In the Bible, even God was righteously jealous for His people. Anger may be ‘righteous’ at times. However, jealousy must be released eventually, or it will ruin and destroy.

I have discovered a good test to see if what I’m feeling is acceptable or not. I ask myself, “Is this emotion taking me away or moving me closer to God?” Some emotions are led by God and are paving the way for His will. Other times, I must walk away from destructive emotions, such as jealousy.

Lord, rid me of envy. Renew my mind and help me to follow the qualities obtained in the fruit of your Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23). Help me to adopt a right perspective of the things of this world. May I submit to your will and put on true humility and love. Instead of jealousy, teach me to wait on YOU. You provide for me and are all I need. When I receive a desired or hopeful gift, help me not to look at it as something I cling to in order to be happy. May I see it as something granted from your hand, your provision at just the right time. Give me contentment and a waiting, trustful hope, not a demanding spirit, but a letting go. When your gifts are given, may I learn how to soak them in without guilt at the pleasures you give and without discontent in future expectations. Help me to be in-the-moment inside my grateful praise to the Father, the Giver of all good things. Whether I feel needful or not, I am always filled with you. In Jesus name, Amen.