Here I am! I stand at the door and knock (Revelation 3:20).
I wrote this several years ago and the visual of the door comes back to me over and over again in my life. I am finding that the invitation to walk through this door happens every day and sometimes, many times a day.
In the morning and at night and everywhere in between,
there stretches wide open before me:
It is surrounded on the edges with blossoms and ivy trailing down the sides.
On THIS side of the door is fear, worry, anger, self-protection, pride,
and every other act I may not at first label or see as sin.
On this side of the door I FEEL safe,
because it’s all I know.
It feels good because it’s the place I stand up for my rights
and make demands for my needs to be met.
It is the bed I choose to lie in that pouts and blames
and gives the silent treatment and angry threats.
It all makes me feel powerful and in control.
I can do it myself.
I don’t need God in the depths of my own secret garden.
Those other people deserve my tongue lashing.
They deserve my silence.
But there is another side to this door.
And it takes all the faith I can muster to walk through.
It takes keeping my eyes on Jesus;
it takes my full trust.
And when I commit to walk over the threshold, I am committing to leave the rest behind
and take what feels like a-step off of a cliff to free-fall into the void of the unknown.
Why do I call this a void?
Because following Christ is risky.
HIS door led him to a cross.
What will God ask of me? What will become of me if I’m kind to that mean person?
Who will be there for me if I’m looking out for their needs?
For a while I don’t know.
But I am grabbing hold of a greater power, the power of love.
It means I wash the person’s feet who has offended me;
I speak lovingly to the one who has bellowed out a curse.
And he has given me the ability to follow him.
It means I pray and pray and pray for God to bring answers to my tough situations.
And I never give up.
I keep trusting even when all seems lost.
Even when I don’t know what’s up or down in this void.
I keep trusting even when I don’t think I can last another second.
I keep serving and praying and serving and praying,
even when I can barely lift my eyes to the sky.
And one day, in that void, I feel the arms of God
and the joy of God reach down to my very soul
and wrap itself around every part of who I am.
I feel completely loved.
And I feel completely full.
And I realize that this feeling didn’t happen because of anything this earth provided
or because of anywhere else I might put my trust.
I realize that on the other side of the door
is the greatest pleasures I can experience on earth.
But I can’t experience them unless I walk through
and stake my life on obeying the sweet will of God.
Years of stepping through that door I realize that everything I will ever need is met.
I find myself overflowing with some inborn service,
now a habit, now making sense, now bringing fruit.
It is a long journey and it is full of tears and fear of what will happen,
but that door stands open for me to choose.
And I have a big God who stands and waits as he knocks for me to answer.
The question is will I walk through and experience all God has for me?
Will I let him into the deepest places of my heart
so he can help me walk through that door?
Will I put my confidence in God and not in myself
and my own fleshly way of dealing with things?
There are vast treasures on the other side of that door,
treasures in obeying God‘s will.
Yet all of us tend to hold on to things,
burdens-we carry that keep us from crossing over.
What are your burdens today?
How might you lay down those burdens
and save room in your arms for the bounty God has for you?
Thank you, Jesus.