Fearless in Love

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. I John 4:18

Have you ever noticed that when we are afraid, fear can take over our whole person? We become its slave.

When I am truly frightened, my body fills itself with dread. I am weighted down, starting in my gut and spreading out to my shoulders, then to my head and so on.

Fear is an emotional response, but it is also physical.

I John 4:18 says that fear has to do with punishment, perhaps because some are afraid of what God will do when they sin. Yet, fear itself carries within it a self-made chastisement.

Fear can be a prison, holding us inside our own cell walls.

I met a woman long ago who told me how good she was as a wife, but that her marriage was awful. As I questioned and listened to her story, I found that her motive for everything good she did for him was fear. I wrapped my arms around her and prayed with her, but I could feel her trembling. I’ll never forget this. Everything she did was already, even in her own eyes, condemned.

If a person is driven to do a good deed out of fear of the consequences of not doing good or because their ‘kind deeds’ never feel good enough, it is not healthy and true service; it is slavery, and I’m sure carries with it, not only fear, but also resentment and misery. True service typically brings us joy (a normal response to the nice things we do for others).

I never saw the woman again, but I heard that the marriage ended. Certainly, the husband may have been a terrible man who treated her poorly enough to warrant her behavior. In her mind, her only option was to separate herself from the object of her fear. But did the separation actually take away her long-ingrained fear? Set aside, for now, that I sound uncaring, and simply go with me into the question.

Sometimes, our fears are deep-seated, and they evolve (and grow a life of their own) from things that happened to us long ago. As adults, we may place our fears on the shoulders of those we know and love. Sadly, the loved ones receive the blame for our past.

Granted, there are some godly reasons to have certain fears in our lives. As children, we are given smiles from good parents, pats on the back and maybe even rewards for choosing to do right. On the other hand, the choice of wrong-doing has its painful consequences: the iPhone is taken away, one’s friend cannot come over today, one has to do extra chores and so on. Hopefully, the fear of these things teaches us to rid ourselves of bad choices as we mature and to find out that our lives are much better when we go the right direction.

Eventually, we grow up and these good and right principles become a part of our character. We, now, choose the better path because we want to. Fear is no longer our motivator. When we serve, we do so voluntarily. We want to be kind out of love for each other, but also out of love for Christ. Spiritual maturity daily draws us closer to God and moves us towards wisdom and away from foolishness. God doesn’t want His children to cower in fear as we give our loving deeds in His name. He wants us to serve Him from a motivation of pure and self-sacrificing love.

There are still times in my life that I take a wayward path. I love God so much that I hate to break His heart. I fall on my face in fear (awe and wonder) of His Holiness. I’m not afraid of Him. In His continual grace and mercy, I desire with all that is in me to be in His presence. But, I fear missing out on His good path for me. I fear wounding His heart and knowing the bad consequences that follow my bad choices. These still point me, in a good way, to rise up, surrender my life to Him and learn His ways of love.

There is another good reason to have fear and that is when we have moments of true danger. Fear motivates us to run away and find safety (from harmful animals, from abuse and so on). Fear was placed there by God to do something about the situation we’re in.

Some people fear losing their jobs if they fail to be punctual and on task. Others fear the failing grades when they don’t study for a test. Fear can be a great motivator to become responsible in our choices.

However, most of our fears are not outside of us. They are formed from within, maybe even from things that happened to us in childhood that need to be addressed and perhaps forgiven. And to the internal distresses, God says all through His word, “Do not be afraid, I am with you.”

Is it possible that LOVE is the opposite of such fears as suggested in today’s verse? When I am afraid, my focus is on what might happened to ME. I am not thinking about how to love. I am thinking about wringing my hands in worry (as if that would help anything). When I am filled with love, I cannot be filled, at the same time, with fear.

There is no fear in the love God gives me, and He gives this love to me in abundance.

I John 4:18 says that perfect love (God’s love) drives out fear. This perfect love is most seen in Jesus’ death on a cross for love of the world. Perfect love steers me away from dread and thoughts of punishment.

Christ’s unbelievable, magnificent love is the love I want to grasp. I want my heart to become a passionate lover of His people. I want to learn to care more about them than the self-centered fears I tend to dwell on that try to swallow me whole and distract me from what is pure, holy and good. I want to be perfected in Christ’s perfect love.

When I become fully aware that I am filled with God’s love, and with His help, I direct this great love toward His people, fear may attempt to enter my mind and body, but after wrestling for a time and submitting to love, I realize, I am no longer enslaved by fear as I was before. Though, I will struggle always with fear in some form or fashion, I will take daily intentional steps into love to let God fight my fears away.

The Bible says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.” II Tim. 1:7

My mind helps me to shift from paralyzing fear to generous love. Love gets my mind off things that make me afraid. Passionately serving others reminds me of my God who is sovereign over all things and looking out for the good of our lives.

Love comes from God. God IS love. But fear comes straight from hell. May I learn wisdom to run from the author of fear and into the arms of love Himself.

FEAR births a self-protective withholding of good from others. It leads to an enslavement of hording and greed. It is always looking for something bad to happen, and many times, these things come true simply from a narrowed view of life.

However, LOVE goes hand and hand with a growing sense of trust in the Father and an ever-increasing desire for compassionate deeds and selflessness.

Point me away from self and steer me towards the cross of Christ. That is love.

Such a life, either way, is contagious. We pass on to those around us what we believe most. If we live in fear, that is the heritage we will give our loved ones. If we live in love, it never dies, even after we’re gone.

So now, when the dread and fear start in my gut and try to work it’s way through me, I stop and redirect it to God. I worship Him in awe and wonder. I talk to Him about my concerns and leave them at His feet. I may have to do this several times, but I keep heading towards His calming presence.

Father, love and light of my life, thank you for continually raising me up above the darkness of fear. Help me to always hold onto your hand as you guide me through the tough and fearful trials I must go through. Keep my eyes on how you love me, and show me how to turn that around to give to others. In Jesus name, Amen.