Running Toward ‘Lack’

Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you. Exodus 18:17-19

Jethro was Moses’ father-in-law who had an opportunity to observe the work Moses did from morning until evening. When Jethro saw the load Moses carried, He said to him, “What is this you are doing?”

Moses explained that the people wanted to seek God’s will. Their disputes were brought before him, and he would give them God’s instructions.

Jethro disagreed with this strategy and in today’s reading warned Moses that he would become worn out with the burden, for he was trying to carry everything on his shoulders.

Sometimes, we do that.

In the desert, the children of Israel had been going through a process of learning to leave the ‘burdens’ of all else in order to want God more. They had been tested for days without food and water so that they would hunger and thirst for Him.

Nothing on this earth holds more importance than our desire for the Lord. Even our thought life can become a hindrance (too heavy for us to carry) or a blessing towards our goal to know Him better.

Last week, my blog was about the Israelites accusing God of starving them. I made the point that perhaps desiring Him more starts when things are stripped from our lives. It’s as if God is removing the heaviness of the props we think are holding us up, all the things that make us temporarily happy. He’s also removing the burdens of bad habits, rough edges and any distrust we have of Him. He’s removing our exhausting prison bars of staying stuck in one place and our infantile responses to hardships. We begin to lose the need to cling to something visible and gain faith in this beautiful Father of ours…who carries us.

Israel had said that God was starving them to death. If that was so, for what reason? Was it perhaps a death to all this earth had for them…in order for God to bless, sanctify, grow, release and free them. He wanted them to soar, to have joy and peace and to bless others on the journey.

Now, here is my focus for today: our home on this short stay on earth presents us with needs and wants (needs are a must, wants are not). We can do without needs for a few days, but not much longer. Wants make our souls ache while we wait on them, fight for them, pursue them, but we can live without them.

So, I got to thinking, Jethro told Moses, “This work is too heavy for you. You will wear yourself out. You cannot handle it alone.”

All of this advice applies to my wants. They are too heavy for me to carry. I will continue to ask for and pursue them because they are nice to have. But when the wants are refused or not provided for me, what then? Do I cling to them as if I am entitled? How much time do I spend defending my wants?

Holding up my wants is exhausting.

Jethro gave Moses the advice to delegate his work to faithful men. I’ve decided to delegate my unmet wants to God.

I close my eyes and picture myself in a true desert, hot and dry. I ask, what wants are met in this arid place? Probably not very many. What do I feel, taste, see, smell and hear while I’m in my desert? The one thing I know is that I am free to be with God, alone, with no distractions. I am His and He is mine.

I open my eyes and remember all the ‘wants’ I get to keep! in my life, because, after all, I’m not really in the desert. I have the comfort of my home, the delicious food and water and the cool breeze outside. And I am thankful for such bounty. Even any ‘lack’ no longer feels burdensome.

Sometimes, I feel like I hold the world on my shoulders, trying to run the whole thing. But Jesus says to come away with Him and rest. It’s good to let some of these things go and then focus on the work I can do. It’s good not to let my wants dictate to me how I spend my day with God.

I may ask Him for this or that. Then, as I let these go, I relax my heart and enjoy myself. I get creative with what I don’t have and find a way to peace.

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing…He makes me to lie down, he leads me, he refreshes my soul, He guides me…” Psalm 23:1

I mentally run to my desert to be with God, and I begin to wonder if there is wisdom in running towards my lack (of unmet wants). What if I allowed my wants to gradually decrease on purpose in order to have the energy and time it takes to address the reality of my lacks. What if my lacks are the point of my life, and I must come to terms with them as if they were my desert (the place I meet my beautiful God), a place of benefit and treasures.

Here’s an example: I WANT to have quiet time during the day to do my work. It comforts me and reinvigorates my soul. But I have all sorts of “interruptions.” Sometimes, these delays to my wants, these ‘lacks,’ irritate and bother me. I want what I want when I want it!

However, “stop a minute,” I say to myself, “run towards the interruptions and see them as my chance to be with God.” So I do (not always, but more and more). And I’m finding such treasure. When that need is fulfilled, the Lord (not always, but sometimes) opens up all sorts of opportunities to get my work done in the quiet that I had wanted in the first place. It’s amazing!!

Father, in my spiritual desert, there is more than meets the eye, for in the end what stands before me is your clear, blue ocean waiting just for me and there is always treasures to find here and now. Help me to run to the Shepherd in whom I feel no want or lack. Thank you for the beautiful gifts you give even though they are not what I thought I wanted… until now. I worship you in this desert. In Jesus name, Amen.

Satan’s Best God’s Best (Discernment Series #8)

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Eph. 6:12

Last week, we ended our study discussing the times we have prepared and thought through our decisions, but we still don’t know what to do. We learned how standing still and firm and waiting on God is wise.

In addition, we become aware of the possibility that for some decisions, we may be under attack from the enemy of God. Maybe the confusion in our hearts isn’t necessarily about the situation we think we need to figure out as much as a fight with the principalities of darkness as seen in today’s verse.

For a moment, take a closer look at what happened to Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane (Luke 22:39-46).

When Jesus was on His face before the Father, begging God to take away the cross and find another way, He was in agony, maybe because of the imagined pain and torture that was to come or perhaps because He because He would be separated from His Father when He was made sin.

If we go back to the three temptations of Jesus in Matthew 4, we learn from Jesus that quoting scripture was a useful tactic against Satan. And, indeed, the devil left for a more opportune time!

Were the awful moments Jesus spent in the garden the more opportune time? Was Jesus not only dealing with His human emotions of anguish but also with the BEST Satan had to offer! After all, Jesus was about to obey His Father and choose death on a cross in order to save the world. He was on the right track.

Jesus profoundly felt what we feel today in our hardest trials and in our obedience when we’re on the right track. He was not only betrayed by one of His own men, He was abandoned by His disciples who fell asleep when He needed them. He knew the suffering that was coming. There was much spiritual warfare! Jesus didn’t want to go through with this call, and He was battling Satan. Yet, when all was said and done, Jesus got up from His lonely, agonizing prayers and boldly went to the cross. Somewhere in that span of time, Jesus made the decision to follow His Father’s will, which was His Father’s Best!

We tend to make our decisions from our negative emotions and even from our well-meaning wills. We scurry and fill the space with noise (which does nothing for the Father or His Kingdom).

But wait, I must remember that God has me. I turn to Him! I am His vessel. I stick close to God and choose self-control. I must sacrifice my will and go forward in the deepest places of my soul, even when Satan is putting his (heavy) best on my back.

I freeze in place, so to speak, as, once again, I hear God’s voice, “I need you here!” No matter what is going on in the confusion of my heart, I step forward and obey. He will help me fulfill His command or He will help me be still and wait. Either way, following God and His best is my desire.

Another point about the mystery of what to do in times of unsureness is to learn the wisdom of not being too hasty in making a decision. Think about the following truths the next time you are tempted to rush into a choice.

All through the years of walking with Jesus, Judas had been greedy for money, and here at the end of Jesus’ time on earth, the Bible says that Judas had the influence of Satan in his heart to move him to betray the Christ. Part of me wonders why Judas seemed genuinely perplexed after his deed was done, that the guards took his Lord to court to intentionally kill him. Did he wonder why this was happening? The fact that Judas hung himself makes me think that maybe he was regretful of what he had done, but could he also have been in shock?

Is it possible that he acted in haste to bring about his own perspective of the Kingdom of God? Perhaps, he thought he could force Jesus into taking His authority on earth, now!

Maybe all of this was going on in his mind and maybe not. But, how different is that possibility than when we try to force God to do our will in a hurried rush to make our decisions?

If Judas had lived on, he would have seen the beautiful, beyond-this-world kingdom, that Jesus so magnificently brought about thought His death. God’s will (His best) was Jesus’ sacrifice on a cross so the whole world could have eternal life.

When I am seeking God’s will, yet am having to wait on His timing in my decisions, I look for a ‘cross’ and a resurrection. For example, instead of believing the lie that I have to yell at people to get my point across (which is an intentional decision), how about putting to death my flesh and letting Jesus shine to the world through my smile and goodwill and through my kind, but firm words expressing the truths of my heart, spoken in love.

The cross in me says I will have moments or seasons of sacrifice. The resurrection in me speaks of new birth and new capabilities to soar on eagles wings with my Father’s strength.

Hopefully, my decisions will not be made in haste (just because I’m tired of waiting for an answer from God). The resurrection will work in me as I come to Him in prayer, and because I trust that God knows what my future holds. He knows what He wants me to do.

Here are the additions to the Discernment Wheel from last week (a few were added last week by accident):

*Stand firm
*Be still
*Rejoice always
*Pray constantly
*Give thanks in everything

Father, when the enemy is near, keep me close to your heart and help me to fix my gaze on you. When I still don’t know what to do, help me not to rush into my decisions, but remain peaceful in your presence. May your will be done in my life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

The Teaching Pit

Love is patient… I Cor. 13:4

With my whole heart, this week I have examined the profound effects of this one description of love. Why is it necessary as a Christian to learn all I can about patience? And why does patience point to love?

I hear people say, “I’m not going to pray for patience anymore. God ends up just giving me more things that irritate me and test my patience!“

Years ago, I let ‘patience’ be my theme for a whole year. Indeed, the year was filled with disappointments and agitating circumstances that seemed to come one after another. When that year was over, my life became easier! Yet, was it easier because the distresses decreased, or was my patience now sharpened and refined?

Praying for patience isn’t hard for me to pray for. It builds up my tolerance level, and the only way to do that is through the hard times. I don’t WANT hard times, but I know they will come because I live in an evil world where bad things happen to good people. What I WANT is to soar above the storm and not be pulled in by it.

What, in general, stirs me to impatience?

When my words are misunderstood or I am in a position of having to listen to wordy details. When the wrong road is taken, which makes me late. When there’s one more errand that puts me behind schedule or simply puts me NOT in the place where I want to be.

When I’m forced to stay within a season for more than is bearable. Or it is necessary to be out and about in exhausting circumstances. I get impatient at another person’s habit of being late or aggravating or rude. When I am having to explain myself for the 3rd time.

When I am loved because I’ve been ‘good,’ but unloved when I mess up (conditional love). I get impatient when I feel dropped as a friend or ignored, forgotten or replaced.

I get impatient when facing mundane moments and should be using them to rest. Instead boredom sets in.

Impatience hits when I am criticized and thought less of, judged or labeled, especially in times I am trying so hard to get it right.

Yet, my own love for others must be patient during these times, to know that God has me in the palm of His hands and loves me so much that I can still provide abounding, patient love…in return for the disappointments. Love continues through the ups and downs even if the another person doesn’t show the same patience with me.

Patience is a gift to give to others. I must remember that they have been labeled and judged by me at inopportune moments as well. Others have had to repeat themselves to me. They’ve had to wait on me. They have also felt conditionally loved by me.

What can I do in times of impatience besides simply taking in knowledge and understanding these things?

I can pray for that person or other important prayer needs while I wait. I can repeat good qualities I know about people and think noble, pure and lovely thoughts. I can become holy as God is holy.

LOVE is patient. I love in times I don’t feel like being loving or in times of pride and judgmental thoughts.

I stop and ask myself, “What is this hot button about? How am I allowing it to cleanse me and bring me joy?“

Sometimes I find myself in a sort of pit of impatience. When I’m clear-minded inside the pit, I look around and want to know more. So I seek answers to several important questions: How did I get here? Is this about my circumstances or what that person did or said? Or is it about ME whining, complaining and getting agitated. Am I simply weary and worn and taking it out on them?

How might I get out of this pit?
It may take some time, so I let my eyes adjust to the dark and look for the light of God. In other words, I ask myself, “How is He showing up? What is He trying to teach me? How is He trying to grow me? Why am I here again and why have I been here for so long?“

I have discovered that my angry impatient outbursts only serve to agitate the stressful circumstances I am in even more.

I want to learn, in these moments, to be still and allow God to refine me.

When I become cognizant that the more pain another person is in, the less aware they are of their hurtful words or deeds towards me (leading to my impatience), but the less attention I give to their hurtful words, the more aware I become of their pain. It gives me compassion and patience to overlook the offense.

Father, help me in my difficult circumstances to become a more patient person. Open my eyes and alert me when these things are happening and stir within me a love so great and a praising tongue so wrapped up in you that my response is completely led by you, completely pure and noble. Work in me a patient mind-set. Show me the patience of Christ. In Jesus name, Amen.

The Blessed Wait

Isaiah 40:31 Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

I’ve heard it said that an eagle will teach its young to fly. Both parents guard the nest and take food to the young. At about 11-12 weeks, if the eaglets have not ventured forth, the parent eagle “stirs” or rocks the nest, tipping them out! The young eaglets flap about in panic, still new at flying. The parent eagle carefully watches, waiting for the critical moment. With wings spread wide, the eagle then swoops down underneath those babies and delivers them back to the security of the nest.

Ours is a God of powerful gentleness. Ours is a God whose timing is perfect. Like the parent eagle, He is sensitive to our needs. He knows when the nest has become too comfortable and needs a little stirring. He, too, watches carefully, and, as with spread wings, catches us up, bringing us to Himself. But He wants us to learn from our fluttering & flopping and to mature. He wants us to leave behind our helpless panic and learn to wait on Him. Then, with our eyes on our Father ‘eagle,’ we begin to know what it means to soar on eagle’s wings!

The trials in our lives can teach us how to fly. We may flutter around at first, but we will learn and grow if we keep our eyes on Jesus.

The verse says that those who ‘wait on the Lord’ will renew their strength. Waiting can be defined in many ways:

Looking for treasures in the trial
Sitting with God in the pain
Letting him carry me through it
Letting him build up energy in me to be able to soar above it

Energy is gained not from temporary distractions of the world, but by being carried on the solid wings of Christ and allowing Him to be the power by which I lunge forward and fly.

Waiting on the Lord renews my strength.

When I head out to go running, but haven’t run in several months, I have to build up stamina and strength. I don’t like to run. But running my goal-amount improves my health. At first my muscles are sore from being stretched and pushed. Once I’ve built up stamina I run without getting weary.

It’s the same with trials. I’ve lived long enough to know that trials come and go. They have such huge value in our lives if we let them. They hurt us in the deepest places of our souls where God can be discovered and leaned upon and where we can allow the pain to change us from the inside out, giving us wings to fly.

This week, I took some time to think about what renews me. God works through inspirational movies, books or sermons to reawaken my tired spirit. It’s like my perspective changes, in an instant, and in the exhausting trials, I’m ready to stop complaining and get on with my life in the way He leads me.

Today’s verse is a promise:

Those who wait…shall renew their strength
Shall mount up on wings like eagles
Shall run and not be weary
Shall walk and not faint

Wait means to believe and trust in God’s goodness no matter how bad things seem. Wait means to fix my eyes on Jesus and not on the problem. Wait means to be still. Wait means to stop being controlling, having an agenda, labeling ‘one outcome’ as the only thing to make me happy. Wait is believing in a big God who has a reason for asking me to obey Him in areas I would rather not, like: going the second mile, returning a blessing for a curse, being the first to give a kindness in a relationship of built up walls, speaking softly to one who is angry with me or praying for my enemies.

Notice on whom we are to wait: the Lord. Everything stops with Him. He is my all and all. He is my everything. He is the One I am waiting on during the trial.

In trials, I DO get overwhelmed and weary, but somehow, when I become still in His presence, my breath is restored, and I am able to go forward into another day, even, at times, in joy. His strength is enough.

Father, thank you, thank you for this awesome verse. It breaths life into my soul at a time when I so much need it. Teach me how to better wait on you. Keep my spirit calm, steady and steadfast. Move the mountains out of the way that stand before me. Be my God, and I declare with confidence that you alone are my Jehovah. Thank you for your care and for your saving wings that carry me through my trials. In Jesus name, Amen.