The Teaching Pit

Love is patient… I Cor. 13:4

With my whole heart, this week I have examined the profound effects of this one description of love. Why is it necessary as a Christian to learn all I can about patience? And why does patience point to love?

I hear people say, “I’m not going to pray for patience anymore. God ends up just giving me more things that irritate me and test my patience!“

Years ago, I let ‘patience’ be my theme for a whole year. Indeed, the year was filled with disappointments and agitating circumstances that seemed to come one after another. When that year was over, my life became easier! Yet, was it easier because the distresses decreased, or was my patience now sharpened and refined?

Praying for patience isn’t hard for me to pray for. It builds up my tolerance level, and the only way to do that is through the hard times. I don’t WANT hard times, but I know they will come because I live in an evil world where bad things happen to good people. What I WANT is to soar above the storm and not be pulled in by it.

What, in general, stirs me to impatience?

When my words are misunderstood or I am in a position of having to listen to wordy details. When the wrong road is taken, which makes me late. When there’s one more errand that puts me behind schedule or simply puts me NOT in the place where I want to be.

When I’m forced to stay within a season for more than is bearable. Or it is necessary to be out and about in exhausting circumstances. I get impatient at another person’s habit of being late or aggravating or rude. When I am having to explain myself for the 3rd time.

When I am loved because I’ve been ‘good,’ but unloved when I mess up (conditional love). I get impatient when I feel dropped as a friend or ignored, forgotten or replaced.

I get impatient when facing mundane moments and should be using them to rest. Instead boredom sets in.

Impatience hits when I am criticized and thought less of, judged or labeled, especially in times I am trying so hard to get it right.

Yet, my own love for others must be patient during these times, to know that God has me in the palm of His hands and loves me so much that I can still provide abounding, patient love…in return for the disappointments. Love continues through the ups and downs even if the another person doesn’t show the same patience with me.

Patience is a gift to give to others. I must remember that they have been labeled and judged by me at inopportune moments as well. Others have had to repeat themselves to me. They’ve had to wait on me. They have also felt conditionally loved by me.

What can I do in times of impatience besides simply taking in knowledge and understanding these things?

I can pray for that person or other important prayer needs while I wait. I can repeat good qualities I know about people and think noble, pure and lovely thoughts. I can become holy as God is holy.

LOVE is patient. I love in times I don’t feel like being loving or in times of pride and judgmental thoughts.

I stop and ask myself, “What is this hot button about? How am I allowing it to cleanse me and bring me joy?“

Sometimes I find myself in a sort of pit of impatience. When I’m clear-minded inside the pit, I look around and want to know more. So I seek answers to several important questions: How did I get here? Is this about my circumstances or what that person did or said? Or is it about ME whining, complaining and getting agitated. Am I simply weary and worn and taking it out on them?

How might I get out of this pit?
It may take some time, so I let my eyes adjust to the dark and look for the light of God. In other words, I ask myself, “How is He showing up? What is He trying to teach me? How is He trying to grow me? Why am I here again and why have I been here for so long?“

I have discovered that my angry impatient outbursts only serve to agitate the stressful circumstances I am in even more.

I want to learn, in these moments, to be still and allow God to refine me.

When I become cognizant that the more pain another person is in, the less aware they are of their hurtful words or deeds towards me (leading to my impatience), but the less attention I give to their hurtful words, the more aware I become of their pain. It gives me compassion and patience to overlook the offense.

Father, help me in my difficult circumstances to become a more patient person. Open my eyes and alert me when these things are happening and stir within me a love so great and a praising tongue so wrapped up in you that my response is completely led by you, completely pure and noble. Work in me a patient mind-set. Show me the patience of Christ. In Jesus name, Amen.