Life-changing Love

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. I Peter 4:8

Jesus is the perfect one to emulate who gave profound love the way each individual needed.

For some, His love totally overlooked the sin and spoke kindly to the sinner,

“Go and sin no more (to the woman caught in adultery),”
“If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water (to the woman at the well),” or
“’Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.’ And his servant was healed at that moment (to the unworthy centurion).”

To others He spoke in confrontational, plain speech to expose their terrible Pharisaical choices or He turned over tables at the temple.
Jesus told the Pharisees, “Woe to you” many times!
He said to the money changers, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’”

Love is given both ways from us as well. A parent will lovingly correct his child. A friend will call out another friend when he is in the wrong. A preacher will preach truth to his listeners. Married couples, who know about their spouse more than anyone else, will sometimes communicate hard things so their relationship can better thrive.

However, today, let’s assume this verse is trying very hard to remind us that it is not always our job to set everyone straight every moment of our lives. In fact, we would do well to set straight how we respond to others in love. We would have enough on our plates if our endeavors were spent on such a task! We would choose not to be so outspoken every little misbehavior. We would learn to simply let go.

Such a monumental deed would be unfathomable in it’s far-reaching influence to those around us! What an accomplishment would be achieved, maybe not for all situations, but for more than we offer at present. Moving towards forming such love into a habit would be life-changing for all involved.

Love is an action verb, and sometimes, that means to cover over a multitude of sins.

The action of loving with our whole heart begins in our thought-life. Our minds drive everything we do! If we don’t love in our thoughts, we probably aren’t going to carry through with overlooking that person’s fault.

My thoughts must be taken captive and made obedient to Christ (II Cor. 10:5). They lead me in every way regarding relationships around me.

When I am at my best and in the midst of conflict, I wonder, “How would I like to be treated if I was in their shoes?”

If people gave me the benefit of the doubt, what a blessing that would be. Maybe their thoughts would be generous and kind,
“I know her. This is not how she would typically respond. Perhaps something deeper is going on. I’ll pray for her,” or,
“Man, I’d like to tell her a thing or two, but my heart is telling me to respond in kindness despite how she just made me feel.”

The cold shoulder or angry accusations make me feel misunderstood and hurt for a very long time. When someone starts a fight with me or tries to make themselves look good at my expense, it only aggravates and makes the relationship worse for the wear. But love that ignores the ill-will, I just spoke or did, or tries to understand what’s going on with me, changes me. I am more willing to make amends and work on the relationship.

Certainly, loving deeply and covering over a multitude of sins is a pretty tall order. After all, that other person did wrong. They don’t ‘deserve’ my kindness. They deserve to be brought down in my vicious gossip and subdued, bitter distance.

In the long run, however, though the other person feels my wrath, I’m the one who suffers most in my self-made prison of unforgiveness. My hateful tones simply beget more hate. My anger begets more anger. Unkindness begets unkindness.

If I’m going to pass anything on at all, I want it to be grace – covering over the sins of others. I want to intensely and freely give my love. I want forgiveness to become easier as time goes by because it’s who I am.

Loving in this way means that I persevere through the hard times of hurt. I surrender myself to the Lord with all my heart and leave my life and the other person’s life in his hands. Such pursuits bring me closer to Jesus and to a minute understanding of all that He did for me. It means I unify myself with those around me, and resist holding grudges.

I visualize a hand coming down over the unkindness spoken to or about me and covering it where no one else can see, and the hand is my hand of love (done only through the power of a Mighty God). I make it hard for others to know about these flaws or mistakes of others (including myself). I practice dismissing offensive circumstances and immediately give the burden over to the Lord. I even make it nothing in both of our eyes, praying for them and asking God to forgive their guilt, just as I ask for help in forgiving. I train myself to speak highly to and about my offender to others around me.

These things take time to learn. But the more I apply today’s verse to my life, the more awe inspired is my heart. In fact, I had a situation during the writing of this blog. My mind kept playing over and over again, “love deeply” and “cover over a multitude of sins.” It was the right thing to do. It was an intentional, loving choice in which I found a piece of God’s compassion and mercy living inside me.

This kindness is not about letting others go scot-free in their ‘crimes’ against us, but about drawing them and ourselves back to the very best God has for us in following His ways.

Lord, this blog was hard to take into my soul. I do not pretend to be anywhere near the thoughts I’ve written in this post, but I want to be. Help my love to keep no record of wrongs from the past and to refuse the trap of easily becoming anger. Instead, show me how to be patient and to protect, trust, hope and persevere, all in the name of the love of the Lord. In Jesus name, Amen.

Go Further

If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Matt. 5:41

The call to go beyond the demands others put on us can be unsettling in our lives. It can sound so ludicrous!

On the other hand, when we make this world revolve around our own met needs, soothed feelings and happy endings we miss out on some of the greatest acts of God, done through our willingness to ‘suffer’ …if I can call it that.

The underlying attitude to which Jesus called His disciples in today’s verse is a hard task, but it is not impossible. Certainly, no one can know how their story will end unless they are willing to open the next blank page of the book of their lives and start living out the second mile.

Yet, even after a task this daunting has been completed, we may wonder if even the slightest difference has been made in the lives of people around us (a boss, a spouse, a grouchy neighbor, a son or daughter).

Know that God works behind the scenes in amazing ways when we allow Him to be the author of our continued second mile stories. In the meantime, the striking changes in our lives that come from a newly devoted love are inevitable.

We begin to feel the exhilaration of conquering self-pity that arose on the first mile, because now we’ve intentionally given more than what is required. We’ve abandoned ourselves to love, to God Himself (who is love).

We begin to notice the difference between things we begrudgingly give that feel so heavy on our backs versus opportunities we train our minds to offer out of love. I say “train,“ because the second mile will tend to draw out from our hearts bad attitudes we didn’t know existed.

In the middle of our attempts at second miles, we may find ourselves having oversensitive feelings or thoughts that run aimlessly in negative directions and subtle lies that take over our minds, all because Jesus calls us to go further in our labor of love.

In relational conflict, our nature may call us to cling to the winning card, to fight to the end to prove a point and force our hearers to agree with our side. But, what have we really won?

The true winner is the one who decides to give extravagant love. The greatest of all is the one who admits his own mistakes instead of blaming the other before they can blame us. God’s superhero isn’t the one who brings up sad stories in the middle of an argument to gain sympathy, attention and control which manipulates the other to concede to what he wants.

Underneath our brave, argumentative exteriors, many times the lies sit and whisper to our ears, “This conversation isn’t over yet because I still feel hurt and uncomforted. Therefore, I have a right to my gloomy thoughts. I can’t help but stay stuck in this bad place until I fix things my way (which never quite happens).”

However, God’s truth is more wise, “God is working in the mysteries of what I cannot fix on my own. I trust His timing in patient waiting. I fight (not people) but the enemies of God in the heavenlies with His armor on (Eph. 6). I worship in joy. I release everything to Him and LOVE passionately!

Now it’s time to hand the flaws of our hearts (that have surfaced) over to God to uproot and get on with the work we’ve devoted to the Lord in trust and faith that His provisions will sustain us. This process develops positive character habits that eventually and genuinely submit to the second mile.

Ultimately, the first and second mile merge together as one, and we become more and more willing to help out just for the sake of God’s kingdom. We see the person we serve in a different light, through the Father’s eyes. We see the load they have been carrying on their backs and why they act the way they do.

Many times, those we serve will come to a place where they will want what we have and will join us on the second mile adventure. The second mile gives us freedom never before experienced. We will find ourselves in joy unspeakable and a life well-lived.

Father, take us to a place of humility where we offer ourselves as living sacrifices holy and pleasing to you. Move us to give of ourselves on the second mile, doing things that are difficult and even, at times, impossible, for the sake of love. Show us the way. Lead us every day. In Jesus name, Amen.

The Teaching Pit

Love is patient… I Cor. 13:4

With my whole heart, this week I have examined the profound effects of this one description of love. Why is it necessary as a Christian to learn all I can about patience? And why does patience point to love?

I hear people say, “I’m not going to pray for patience anymore. God ends up just giving me more things that irritate me and test my patience!“

Years ago, I let ‘patience’ be my theme for a whole year. Indeed, the year was filled with disappointments and agitating circumstances that seemed to come one after another. When that year was over, my life became easier! Yet, was it easier because the distresses decreased, or was my patience now sharpened and refined?

Praying for patience isn’t hard for me to pray for. It builds up my tolerance level, and the only way to do that is through the hard times. I don’t WANT hard times, but I know they will come because I live in an evil world where bad things happen to good people. What I WANT is to soar above the storm and not be pulled in by it.

What, in general, stirs me to impatience?

When my words are misunderstood or I am in a position of having to listen to wordy details. When the wrong road is taken, which makes me late. When there’s one more errand that puts me behind schedule or simply puts me NOT in the place where I want to be.

When I’m forced to stay within a season for more than is bearable. Or it is necessary to be out and about in exhausting circumstances. I get impatient at another person’s habit of being late or aggravating or rude. When I am having to explain myself for the 3rd time.

When I am loved because I’ve been ‘good,’ but unloved when I mess up (conditional love). I get impatient when I feel dropped as a friend or ignored, forgotten or replaced.

I get impatient when facing mundane moments and should be using them to rest. Instead boredom sets in.

Impatience hits when I am criticized and thought less of, judged or labeled, especially in times I am trying so hard to get it right.

Yet, my own love for others must be patient during these times, to know that God has me in the palm of His hands and loves me so much that I can still provide abounding, patient love…in return for the disappointments. Love continues through the ups and downs even if the another person doesn’t show the same patience with me.

Patience is a gift to give to others. I must remember that they have been labeled and judged by me at inopportune moments as well. Others have had to repeat themselves to me. They’ve had to wait on me. They have also felt conditionally loved by me.

What can I do in times of impatience besides simply taking in knowledge and understanding these things?

I can pray for that person or other important prayer needs while I wait. I can repeat good qualities I know about people and think noble, pure and lovely thoughts. I can become holy as God is holy.

LOVE is patient. I love in times I don’t feel like being loving or in times of pride and judgmental thoughts.

I stop and ask myself, “What is this hot button about? How am I allowing it to cleanse me and bring me joy?“

Sometimes I find myself in a sort of pit of impatience. When I’m clear-minded inside the pit, I look around and want to know more. So I seek answers to several important questions: How did I get here? Is this about my circumstances or what that person did or said? Or is it about ME whining, complaining and getting agitated. Am I simply weary and worn and taking it out on them?

How might I get out of this pit?
It may take some time, so I let my eyes adjust to the dark and look for the light of God. In other words, I ask myself, “How is He showing up? What is He trying to teach me? How is He trying to grow me? Why am I here again and why have I been here for so long?“

I have discovered that my angry impatient outbursts only serve to agitate the stressful circumstances I am in even more.

I want to learn, in these moments, to be still and allow God to refine me.

When I become cognizant that the more pain another person is in, the less aware they are of their hurtful words or deeds towards me (leading to my impatience), but the less attention I give to their hurtful words, the more aware I become of their pain. It gives me compassion and patience to overlook the offense.

Father, help me in my difficult circumstances to become a more patient person. Open my eyes and alert me when these things are happening and stir within me a love so great and a praising tongue so wrapped up in you that my response is completely led by you, completely pure and noble. Work in me a patient mind-set. Show me the patience of Christ. In Jesus name, Amen.

The Real Thanksgiving

Do not be afraid Abram for I am your shield and great reward. Gen 15:1

Before God spoke these words, Abram had gathered his men to retrieve Lot, his family and friends who had been taken from their homes. When Abram returned them and gave to the king the customary tenth of the spoils of war, the king offered for Abram to keep all the spoils. Abram turned down these riches, for he had settled within himself not to give opportunity for this king to say that “he had made Abram rich.”

“After this” God said to Abram, “I am your shield and great reward.”

I was impressed with Abram when he turned down the wealth, so I asked myself a question: What on this earth attempts (but fails) to make me rich in Christ, except Christ alone?

My list grew long as I thought about it. I realized that I am not any more rich or blessed when something good happens to me and I am not any less rich when bad happens.

I am always the same: massively wealthy and blessed in Christ.

It’s why Paul could say in Phil. 4:11-13, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

It is why I can have a feast for Thanksgiving every day regardless of the physical food in front of me.

Why did God start His comforting statement with “don’t be afraid?“
What might Abram have been afraid of?
Retaliation from a group of Kings from whom he had just taken back their victims and delivered them back home?
The fear that he would never have a son, an heir, like God had promised?

What might you and I be afraid of that keeps us awake at night or stirs our thoughts to the negative?

How was God going to be Abram’s shield? How might He be my shield today?
What we do know is that after Abram turned down physical rewards, God offered him Himself.

God offers Himself to all of us when we turn down what the world recommends. And HE is worth so much more than anything of this earth.

I may not have kings to battle or a king who offers me the spoils of war, but I do battle every day and deal with temptations.

Lord, help me to turn my eyes to the majesty of your greatness. I lay down all that I think would make me spiritually rich at your feet. Even the very prayers I pray daily, I leave with you and purpose not to cling to my own opinion of the outcome. I trust you, for I am well-provided-for by your bountiful hand. YOU are my great reward, my most prized possession, my greatest Thanksgiving ‘feast,’ even in times when all seems lost and when what I want feels impossible and hopeless. I choose YOU when I must be patient and when I must have faith while I wait on your answers. Thank you, Father for your provision at all times in my life. I pray these things in Jesus Holy name, Amen.

Drop the Matter

Proverbs 17:14 Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

With only occasional setbacks, quarreling can become a thing of the past when we learn to follow verses like this and others like it: What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? (James 4:1)

Following these passages makes it possible to be set free from the need to argue.

Learning new habits of dropping the matter cleans out our ugly hearts and helps us to forgive people who offend and circumstances that disappoint.

What is a breach? It is an eruption, a crack or gap in a wall or dam that gets bigger and bigger over time, spewing out in great force it’s damage and destruction.

Spiritually the dam is a pile of unexpressed displeasing thoughts that have been held back a long time only to need one tiny rupture (irritating comment or action from another person) to be uncontrollably and unfairly let loose.

In this dilemma, is the answer to the problem to express all my thoughts as they happen so they won’t all back up inside me? Or is the answer to let some things go, like really go?

How do I sometimes unknowingly activate or launch a breach in the ‘dam?’

The foothold of the enemy starts in my mind when I allow myself to think whatever I want and use no self-control to take captive my thoughts (II Cor. 10:5). When the ‘last straw’ happens, all the thoughts come tumbling out, ready at the first sign of a breach. It even feels like the thoughts are looking for any excuse to come out of hiding!

How do I keep this dam of the mind intact, strong and peaceful (as shown in the photo above)? How do I keep the wall whole?

How do I “drop the matter?”

There has to be some sort of true letting go when the need to quarrel arrives in my brain. However, it’s not enough to remain quiet. I cannot expect some things to go away on their own. Some ‘matters’ will not and should not simply be ignored.

In my thoughts, before I bring up a topic of concern out loud, I pray about it. Then I carefully place it into more capable hands of the Almighty God. Before I even share my thoughts, I label it, once and for all, ‘resolved,’

After waiting on God’s timing, I speak with gentleness not anger to my counterpart. Expressing my thoughts in patient, kind ways, I listen to the spirit as He moves me to experience His fruit (love, joy, peace).

After that, since I’ve already left it resolved with God, I drop the matter and allow freedom to come into my heart. I am released from tension and strife.

Therefore, in order to keep my heart from negatively bursting at the seams, first of all, I daily go through a cleansing process. Have I repented of wrongs? Have I forgiven those who have offended me? Am I aware of the good around me to give thanks? Am I in the habit of praising God even in the hard times? Is there anything left over that hasn’t been addressed? Do these things need to be spoken or tossed? Am I praying to God for discernment?

Second, there are times when I get tired or moody and mindlessly speak my hurt. I am clearly in the wrong. When confronted, my tendency is to get defensive and angry and unleash all the ugliness of my soul (because I’m tired and cranky).

The happier way is to correct myself (explain my state of mind, apologize and reap the benefits of cleaning up my act and restoring my soul). Over time, I can better learn which fights are worth my time and energy and which ones are foolish, disruptive and nonessential to my life and well-being as well as to other’s.

Interestingly enough, there is another dynamic that could be the backdrop of everything I just shared.

I am under spiritual attack (or ‘we’ are).

The Bible says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Eph 6:12).

Sometimes the enemy bombards me, and I am led to believe his lies. As this happens, I know by now that in that struggle, I must quickly grab hold of God’s hand, who is more powerful than my enemy. I must keep going forward in love to those around me, not letting the dam be breached even by Satan himself.

If I were to verbally speak those enemy-thoughts led into my mind, much damage and destruction could happen.

Instead, I set myself to keep up the good deeds, doing the opposite of what the enemy speaks into my head.

For example: Over the years, God has helped me conquer some insecurities and fears. When I’m ‘under attack, ‘ the enemy hits those hot buttons with a vengeance, and I am made to believe that I am insecure again. I’m NOT. But I feel the struggle so deeply, I think things like: “This will always be a part of me. I will never get better. I want to quit because I’m not worthy to continue. I want to run away because that person did or said something hurtful (in reality, he or she is the same person they’ve always been, sometimes aggravating or frustrating, but the enemy exaggerates their actions or words in my mind, blowing it out of proportion). My mind convinces me to become distant and fed up, “I’m done!“

But, God is not done.

Perhaps, you would counsel me to speak my feelings. But, I’ve been there and done that so often (during a spiritual attack) that the recipients of my words look at me like I have two heads. They’re just being themselves. I’m the one who is out of line and making a big deal out of nothing (or better said, the enemy is running the show in my head).

These episodes last a few days in which I feel the battle or struggle, a battle that is most definitely about the principalities of darkness.

The issue isn’t a person or a hurt, but a power struggle between God and Satan and I’m in the middle!

I am being distracted to dwell on a lie, BECAUSE someone out there needs my prayers. Someone else needs me to be in the light of God’s will. That someone needs my prayers and encouragement, perhaps even the very person the enemy is lying about in my head.

My heaven-tactic against the spiritual attacks is to move toward people in love, to serve, give and ignore the enemy’s cries. It is vital, during these episodes, in ALL my relationships to go out of my way to be kind. I move forward as if the struggle isn’t going on. Extremely hard to accomplish, it feels impossible. But, with God, nothing is impossible!

The only way I can do this is by crying out to my Father who ALWAYS pulls me through. A few days pass and the thoughts are forgotten and gone. They leave as quickly as they came. My mind is sane again and at peace. When those same frustrations (used by the enemy to trip me up) happen again, my mind is not agitated or perplexed. I have made it through the storm without allowing the dam to be breached.

It is imperative for us all to come to recognize when the enemy is attacking us spiritually. He comes in the form of anger, hurt and pride, but he also shows up in illness and misfortune. He can even use the good in life to distract me from praying for a friend in need. I am still in the process of trying to understand spiritual attacks. I want to learn from the Jesus himself.

Matthew 4:1-11
Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry.
The tempter came to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God throw yourself down. For it is written: “‘He will command his angels, and they will lift you up in their hands, so you will not strike your foot against a stone.’”
Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’”
Again, the devil showed him the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”
Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’”
Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him.

Father, forgive me for my wayward thoughts that overflow from my mouth. Show me the path to freedom by helping me to drop the matter. Help me to soar above the waves of this deeper ocean. When the enemy is near, put scripture in my mind to repeat back to the principalities of darkness. Keep my eyes on you, my Savior and friend, and help me to sustain the loving acts you place on my heart. I am thankful that I have a God who is over all these things. I open my lips and my arms to praise you. I kiss your feet, Lord Jesus and glorify your name. I love you so much, Lord and give my life to you. In Jesus name, Amen.

Be Still

In Exodus 12, we read how Moses and the Israelites left Egypt and were finally free!

How surprised they must have been when they turned around and saw an Egyptian army in a cloud of dusty chariots and fighting men barreling down on them to annihilate the entire nation.

Moses said to his people, “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14 (NIV).

The different Bible translations look like this:

keep silent (NVSB)
hold your peace (KJB)
be quiet (HCSB)
be still (NET Bible)
remain at rest (Amp Bible)
you won’t have to do a thing (CEV)
calm yourselves down (Complete Jewish Bible)
stay calm (Easy to read Version)
you won’t have to lift a finger in your defense (NLT)

NASB Lexicon defines this as: be silent, dumb, speechless or deaf

My husband shared this ‘be still‘ verse with me last week.

I, in turn, shared with him: Psalm 46:10 (NIV) “Be still, and know that I am God.”

Again the different Bible translations shed some light for us:

Cease striving (NASB)
Stop your fighting (HCSB)
Be in awe (ISV)
Return (Aramaic Bible)
Let go (God’s Word Translation)

NASB Lexicon defines the phrase: to sink, relax, slacken

For both of these verses, I picture myself letting out a huge sigh of relief. I have to believe that I do not hold everything (or anything for that matter) on MY shoulders. I give it all to the One whose shoulders can fit the weight of the world.

When I get nervous, words come out of my mouth right and left, with no rhyme or reason. Sometimes, however, it’s best to clap my hand over my mouth and stop speaking. Stop worrying and close my mental ears to the onslaught of all that Satan wants to tell me about the situation. Be deaf, be dumb.

Be still.

It is a time to KNOW that HE is God. I must let Him fight for me.

I must sink into a relaxed state of mind, allow my tense shoulders to loosen and let my arms fall naturally to my side. Breathe in and out, slacken my grip on the rope I’ve been holding onto for dear life, thinking I could manage by myself.

Let go.

All these pictures in my head are truly helpful in attempting to live the ups and downs of life.

Here are some more verses on being still:

Psalm 37:7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.
Psalm 62:5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him.
Job 6:24 Teach me, and I will be silent; make me understand how I have gone astray.
Psalm 131:2 But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.
Psalm 62:5-6 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
Isaiah 26:3 You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.
Habakkuk 2:20 But the Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth keep silence before him.”
I Samuel 12;16 Now therefore stand still and see this great thing that the Lord will do before your eyes.
I Peter 5:7 Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
Lamentations 3:25-26 The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Father, being still is hard work. My flesh would rather be doing something, anything but being still. In the stillness, however, I narrow my senses to only be aware of your voice, becoming deaf to the noise and mute to my own words. I labor to calm myself and sit in your presence and rejoice in the provisions that I trust you will lovingly bring. My gaze is upwards, not on the things of this earth. You are my God and my King. Help me to KNOW you. Rescue me in my trials. I surrender all. In Jesus name, Amen.