Unrestrained Fervency

Caleb said to him [Joshua], “I followed the Lord wholeheartedly. So here I am today, eighty-five years old! I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I’m just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. Now give me this hill country that the Lord promised me that day. You yourself heard then that the cities were large and fortified, but, the Lord helping me, I will drive them out just as he said.” Joshua 14:6-12 (shortened)

Seven years ago, my husband was promoted to a dream job in a different city than where we had lived for 22 years.

I didn’t want to go. My heart was broken!

During the week of settling the details of job benefits, I waited, hoping and praying that God would still shut that door.

One of my friends asked God to guide her in finding a scripture for me. She received today’s verse and sent it in a text. All it did was make me angry. I called her, though neither of us had time to talk. I said in a rush, “Just pray for me. I don’t want to be wholehearted with this move. I’m so upset!”

However, for some reason, during the night, God did a work on my heart. I don’t know how, but the next morning, the anger was completely gone. I was all in and ready to obey. It wasn’t going to be easy, but my attitude had been radically changed.

The following Sunday, we had to tell our church family that in a few weeks we would be leaving.

Tears upon tears came that day. But the strangest thing happened that brought even more tears. The minister made his way to the pulpit and preached.

His sermon was …today’s verse!

No one in the auditorium knew that this was my verse, given to me by God. I sat there stunned, amazed by His confirmation of our choices. I knew without a doubt that God was moving us for a reason beyond our understanding. I was to go with unrestrained, wholeheartedness to enter into His will.

The two years we spent there were both uplifting and crushingly sad (to be very honest). Yet the day before my car headed back “home” was the day I handed in the final manuscript of my book to a local publisher. During those years my husband finished the work he was called to do, and while he traveled, I spent almost all my time finishing off the 13 years it took to write a marriage book in the quiet of my empty house. This task could not have been accomplished in my beloved home town. The Lord provided me with an editor, an artist, a life-coach (to help me with the direction of my book) and a publisher (for self-publishing). A long-distance designer was added to the group towards the last months of our stay.

Now, five years have passed and several women have joined individual ‘classes’ in which the book is used. My book is a ministry, free to anyone in need. A book written to His glory and for His people.

Again, I was and still am amazed at what God did with a heart that had to grow into trusting Him and to grow into becoming wholehearted in His plans for us, however difficult and hard to understand.

In today’s verse, 45 years had passed since Caleb and Joshua had fearlessly spoken up, saying that they all could take the land God wanted to give them. But the Israelites refused and ended up wandering in the wilderness for 40 years. Caleb had been the ‘good guy,’ along with Joshua. Yet, it occurred to me that they had to endure the Israelite’s punishment all these years (unfair!)

Back then, the Israelites met up with a group of frightening, intimidating giants yet still, Caleb and Joshua trusted that God would stay true to His word.

So, God promised Caleb the “hill country” (because he had been wholehearted!). Now, 45 years later, Caleb was ready to receive the promise. Would Joshua even remember?

Caleb had stayed faithful through the waiting time of the wilderness. His greatest source of strength was His Father God. Caleb was wholehearted in his faith and convinced that one day he would possess this land, this hill country of promises.

When the Israelites crossed over Jordan, Caleb went with them into war. He experienced the sweat and toil of the hardships of everyday battle. He stuck it out with them until the right moment came much later to ask for his portion of the land. Caleb, even at 85, was strong and youthful, as spry as the younger men to enter into battle.

Rarely do we find men and women like him in the Bible or in our world. Our lives are richer for knowing him who had such a spirit of God. He was a shining light, courageous, humble, truthful and full of joy. There was a solid peace and certainty in His trust of the Lord that begs to be imitated by all.

In today’s verse, Caleb reminds Joshua of the circumstances of almost a half a century ago in which he had wholeheartedly given himself to the Lord’s purposes.

God’s promise mattered to Caleb and he received what he asked for.

During the week, I asked myself, what does wholehearted mean for our lives?

It means that we park straight in front of our Mighty God and His will for everything we do. We seek His face alone as we ponder our next move.

As humans, we all have rules we devise and follow because they were created by our own needs and wants. For example, I can sleep late today; I can eat whatever I want; It doesn’t matter if I’m late to that event – no one will notice!

But, do we follow the rule that Caleb had? Caleb gave rule of himself over to God, completely.

That is wholehearted!

Caleb would brave the elements of whatever nightmares his land occupants (so dreaded by the Israelites of long ago) held. But God was by his side and that’s all that mattered.

When we choose to stay close to God as was Caleb, going after the enemies of our lives today can actually become somewhat courageously appealing. Picture Caleb, sword in hand, ready to go forward!

Whatever sinful appetites we come face to face with, whatever self-interest, affluence or ruthlessness that comes our way, God is a God of change. We don’t fight to kill; we fight to love! The LOVE of God is our greatest weapon. From the moment Jesus hung on a cross for our salvation, the display of His mighty strength in our lives can break the chains of the most loathsome, repellent sinner who can, in turn, give rule of their lives over to our great God, to our gentle Jesus. Any form of evil can be left behind in the dust.

As wholehearted people with the power of our God, we can seek to be undaunted in our God-given responsibilities and seek to give Him praise. We can obey the call of God. Instead of asking questions to try to get out of the calling, we can become willing to let our offerings cost us something of value, something dear to us, whatever would define giving of our best. We can stand in the day of trouble against the principalities of darkness and pass the test. We can live our lives, not for perfection, but for a consistent choice to walk the road God lays in front of us, even, ever rising after each human faltering step.

Father, we stand ready for your call. But, I am so thankful that we have your son, who with wholehearted, unrestrained fervency loved US enough to give His life for each of us. I am comforted to know that HE goes every step of the way into the unknown along the paths we must go. Help us to follow His footsteps and cling to your presence with a whole heart. I love you, Father, In Jesus name, Amen.

Facing God!

Let the light of your face shine on us. Fill my heart with joy when their grain and new wine abound. In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:6b-8

It came to me recently that people and things can sometimes overpower my thought life. I pine away over longed-for purchases, broken valuables or things in need of repair. I get overwhelmed about people who are supposed to drop what they’re doing and provide for my needs and wants, and the way I desire it. Without resoluteness in my spirit, these powerful urges can endlessly assume a large chunk of time and energy. My mind will wander into little squabbles, weary sighs and even depression over the unfair hurts or wishes of the moment.

The funny thing is, one situation will finally work itself out, but then, another will always be happy to take its place and rule over me. My life could easily be spent in pursuing my passions more than the One and Only True God and what He is passionate about, what He longs for in my life and what is valuable to Him!

One evening, I intentionally sat in the dark and chose a person whose hurtful actions had incessantly been grabbing at my heart. I spoke to he/she as if I could visualize them right in front of me. I said everything I wanted to say, holding nothing back. Why did you say those hurtful things to me?” or “I can hardly think about anything or anyone else!” or “I need my space!”

I also approached fretful issues such as taxes, restlessness or depression by telling it (for example, depression), “You are so alluring. You make me want to put my goals aside. My mind is fuzzy, and people don’t seem as important. Maybe I’m just tired. Yet YOU are still there. I feel so numb.”

When I was done, I allowed that individual, object or issue to fade from view and envisioned God taking their place.

I was facing God!

Subsequently, and of great importance, my Heavenly Father became bombarded with every exact wording I had just spoken to the object or person. I questioned, complained and poured out my heart as if God was that person.

Surprised at what happened next, my inward thoughts focused on God’s eyes, and my heart totally melted in His majestic presence. I found myself bowing before the Almighty, my Creator, who, now it dawned on me, was using my situation, at this time, in this place, for His purposes. As each word came out of my mouth, I proceeded not only to speak, but to carefully LISTEN in the dark.

This intentional endeavor led me to consider how I should be more careful of what I say to irritating or hurtful people and how I say it and to keep in mind that I have old wounds and history as well as they do.

Why did they say that to me? When I spoke these words to God, I realized that so many legitimate reasons existed! And my mind was now opened to broaden my perspective of each situation. Speaking into God’s presence pushed me into a new world of thought. He made me see that person not as someone to give all my power (thoughts and attention) to, but to give this power to Him. He can make things right if I let Him. I don’t have that ability. He can help me with my responses. He can give me compassion or even forgiveness for the circumstances. He can give me creative ways to reveal truth and wisdom.

What about a few hours spent in depression? I turned to God and spoke what I had just said to my issues (in the paragraph above), but I changed it up a bit: “YOU, Oh God, are so alluring, more than anything or anyone else I know. You make me want to carry through with my goals and you give me the ability and strength to do so. My mind is clear when I’m with YOU, and people are valuable and important. Though I am tired, YOU are right here and are all I need. With you, I am stirred in my heart to feel alive and stand back up and conquer the world in the power of the Living God!”

There is much truth to be had in acquiring the skill of thinking better thoughts and speaking to others or speaking to issues as if I am speaking to God. Having done this practice several times now, not only am I being helped in how to be inwardly and outwardly respectful, but I am also receiving God’s wisdom about each situation. I’m finding myself talking to God throughout the day in a continual prayer feast. “Lord, what do you think about this situation?” “What would you do?” “Teach me your ways.”

Here is my prayer after several times of ‘facing’ Him: Lord, I humble myself before you. Thank you for your son who makes me clean inside and out. I demand nothing from you, but I do seek your help. I bow and worship you. You are my everything. I love you so much! Show me how to love your people. I give you every inch of ‘my’ space. What I call ‘mine’ is yours. Forgive my self-centered ways, my pride and arrogance. I release my reputation (what others think of me) to you and concentrate on your reputation. Help me to do my work with vigor and joy and to accept what gifts, service or help comes my way, especially in times I request aid from those around me and don’t receive it. It is not your job to keep hurts away from my life. You are more interested and providing me with the ability to control my emotions and to creatively handle these. Lead me. I place my honor, fear and respect on you and give respect to your people. I listen to you and ask for your truth in my heart. Father, I ask for forgiveness and submit to you in humility. When earthly discussions become tedious or something or someone causes me distress, help me to remember similar long or stressful seasons that you permit me to go through in order to grow me in patience, fortitude and love. As I learn to listen to your voice, help me, in like manner to learn to respectfully listen to my fellowman, to really hear what you and they have to say. Please interrupt me, especially if I’m on the wrong track and help me to see earthly distractions from your perspective. I want to serve YOU. Help me to be a servant like Jesus was, to stand up for your Kingdom and take up my cross and follow you. Help me as I step up in my abilities to serve your people. I want to be on your side. YOU interest me. You satisfy me. Help my conversation to interest you and satisfy you. Give me words to say to you. I lay down my right to be irritated when I am weary, or when things go wrong. Give me self-control and peace. God, oh God, forgive me. Cover my mind with Jesus’ blood. Let the light of your face shine on me. In Jesus name, Amen.

Sweet Hammer Blow

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Imagine the gruff, sweaty man at work. He pulls the heavy iron tool back and with a loud repeated ‘ping’ hammers hard against the fire-softened metal to sharpen the dull blade. The metal will harden with great accuracy, grandly formed for its precise use.

This image is similar to two companions who have locked arms in life together and are in deep conversation, constructive criticism, loving advice, counsel and differing viewpoints that rub against each other to sharpen their hearts.

However, the sound can also be similar to the harsh ping of the loud morning neighbor in vs. 14, the drip of the quarrelsome wife in vs. 15 and the scratching fingernail against the chalkboard of wounds, anger and jealousy from earlier verses that all hit the target of our hearts with fierce blows upon us.

In either circumstance, I may think I am being squelched from who I really am. Yet, in reality, God is rebuilding me into something better than I was before, THROUGH my circumstances. I stop my inward cries and listen to sweet hammer blows I know are from God. He is forming me even now. My trials happen with His full knowledge and in His timing. They can be used for His purposes. My response to such disappointments is trust in Him. I have been appointed by God to rise above what feels unfair and uncomfortable. In these moments, I realize my adequacy is not found within myself (look at me, I’ve been sharpened) but in a powerful and adequate God, the One behind all that sharpens me. Under every blow, I can be still and know that He is God.

Interactions with people, no matter their good or bad intentions can be managed by our Sovereign God to enhance our usefulness for His sake. Marriage is the closest a person can get to another person, and we are sharpened in our loving experiences, but also in our seasons of despair.

In single-hood, we are sharpened as well. It is our response to the sharpening that is most vital.

I am sharpened by the Bible, nature, circumstances, promptings of the Holy Spirit, books or inspirational movies and by witnessing godliness in the face of painful trials. But this particular verse speaks of how my heart is sharpened or stirred to action by others who have been stirred to action and vice versa.

Generally, we are not sharpened simply by the thoughts that come into our minds. Someone who walks in different shoes and has different experiences than our own can bring to us more insights for better ways to live or they can influence us for wrong.

As I grow older, I am increasingly discovering that surprisingly I am not the center of the universe. Being sharpened is not as much about ME as it is about me being refined for something or someone else. The process of sharpening makes me a blessing (or a curse) to others and greatly moves God’s kingdom forward (or hinders it).

If the iron sharpener could speak, I imagine his voice reflecting back to me my flaws or my apathy or laziness, to name a few. I am seen for the bluntness or dull qualities I possess.

Am I true or am I false, genuine or pretending? Am I only reading about good and godly deeds or am I doing what I know to be right? Upon examining my life, I can now discover the depth of my need to be sharpened.

Hebrews 10:24 says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” This verse is perfect in explaining the iron sharpeners we must be for each other.

Sadly, however, there are those who spur me on to self-expression or self-centeredness. I might be strong enough to reject their examples and continue to be refined by God. Yet, eventually, their sharpening may evolve into the opposite of what God desires and I desire for myself. It is wise not to be in the company with them for long periods of time, for they will influence my heart to become more agitated, lazy or angry.

When I spend my time walking with good companions, I can be taught the joy of the Lord instead of depression and complaining. I can be led to paths of honest hard work instead of idleness.

Father, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. Show me the path to your wiser ways. Use the friends in my life to sharpen me for the good. Likewise, help me to sharpen them. Help us to be better people because of the friends we choose to walk with. In Jesus name, Amen.

Don’t You Dare Come Near My Cubs!

Proverbs 17:12 Better to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than a fool in his folly.

Envision a mama bear. If her cubs were taken from her, she would be in an all-out war to get to her babies. She would fight to the death to save them.

Envision the fool clutching at his folly just as fiercely as the bear fights for her cubs.

The verse tells me it’s better to be in the path of that bear than the fool! Oh my!

To tell you the truth, I find it much easier to apply this verse to everyone else.
“Boy, that person sure is being foolish.” “Wow, does he have a lot to learn!”

However, I have to stop and let the words sink into my own heart….deeply.

In essence, I cling to my folly and say, “Don’t you dare come near.” But, what is folly? It is a refusal to change, an unwillingness to grow or gain wisdom because the foolish one knows all the answers. He is stuck in his own ideas. Maybe he’s prideful over the need to be right, yet also fearful of being wrong. Perhaps he is headstrong and obnoxiously outspoken and never forgives or forgets someone else’s misdeeds. He is bitter, immature and blind (wisdom from others is unwanted advice). He loses sight of the truth and often complains. At times he is a martyr who serves others from wrong motives: “I’ll smother you with my gifts and service, enabling you, because I am afraid you’ll leave me or because serving makes me feel good about me.“

He might be a person who is unwilling to go out of his comfort zone, haughty (acting superior), well-meaning but wrong. He is bound to his folly, enslaved, imprisoned and chained. The fool clutches sin so tightly to his chest that it rules him.

When a fool hears truth, he may ignore it, or he might retreat in shame, allowing the wisdom to make him feel inferior (so much drama). He may be self-deprecating, walking around with head hanging down, sad, debilitated, paralyzed, scared to fly because he might fail: “I’m no good, I’m unworthy, I’m a terrible person, tell me I’m a good person.”

Perhaps he is self-pitying, seeking attention and depressed, OR he may overcompensate by being loud, boisterous, self-centered and pushy, trying to deny that his problems exist.

The fool allows plenty of negative self-talk about other people or circumstances, “That person is being so unfair.” He can be impatient or lazy with too much downtime. He steps out of the light of Christ and into darkness.

At times, I am that fool but I don’t want to stay there. So next I ask myself:

What is the opposite of folly?
The wise one is real as opposed to covering up things by being boisterous and loud. I don’t mean that he spills out his guts all over the place. Certainly, he can be sad about his life, but he doesn’t let sadness affect his self-esteem (He is a child of God). He is sincere about his life: genuine (complete, absolute, authentic, pure). His realness comes from being in the right place with God.

He runs from folly! He lets go of petty things in life. He gives into God and doesn’t give up. He brings himself to a still place before the Father and listens to Him. He prays and leans on God. He is others-centered and takes care of himself so that he will have what it takes to give to those around him. His sole purpose in life is about God and His people. He considers others and shares of his means, his energy and time. He is gracious and interested in God’s plan for that moment.

When he hears truth, he steps into God’s light and allows it to convict him. He is convinced and inspired to change. He accepts what he hears and surrenders to God his all. He finds himself desperate to be with God more than to have his own needs met by anything of this earth.

Lord, give me a heart that is wise. Take my foolishness far from me. Help me to fight and cling (as the mama bear to her cub) to be in your light rather than to prove my point. Remove from me the need to defend myself and instead defend you. I surrender my folly and trade it in for wisdom from on high. In Jesus name, Amen.