How Long, Lord?

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me. Psalm 13

Sometimes, life simply fails us at moments when we most need to be lifted up, and because we are human, we hurt. We become confused and can be in despair as David so poignantly expressed of himself.

Today’s psalm may have been written during King Saul’s pursuit and threats to David. David was at the end of his rope.

Yet, somehow in just a few verses, he found his peace once again.

Though I love watching movies. I have always found it interesting that the characters are faced with impossible problems in each segment, but somehow by the end of 30-45 minutes, a bow is nicely wrapped around each and every issue, and generally everyone goes home happy and satisfied (except for the bad guy).

“No way!” we cry! But we still love watching these shows. We love happy endings.

It dawned on me as I read today’s Psalm that David accomplished this. His circumstances didn’t change, but by the end of his rantings and ravings, his soul found rest in his God. He was satisfied.

I think this is beautiful! And the process he went through is something we can all do.

At the beginning of his agonizing prayer, his situation had left him feeling abandoned by God. Most of us have felt this way. We may KNOW in our heads that God exists, but we want Him to show up and be active in our difficult trials.

Yet, what would it be like if God really did leave us? In reality, we wouldn’t be able to go forward. A universe without Him would be void and lost.

In his trial, David still believed God was near. Why cry out to Him if He had disappeared? The psalm simply speaks of David’s authentic struggles before the Lord concerning his greatest and deepest hurts.

When a woman is giving birth, the labor pains feel like they will last forever. The struggle is long and wearying. But when the child comes forth the pain is forgotten.

David, in a sense is giving birth (as are we in our struggles). He is going through something in which God is right there with him and is moving in mighty ways all around him. One day the running (from Saul) will stop. One day, God will make things new. One day the birth will be complete. But for now, David complains to his One and Only. The One who hears his cries as he expresses ANYTHING that sits in his heart, ANYTIME.

He begs God to give him light. And though God still ‘hides his face,’ David is being taught how to see more clearly and in a deeper way than if God came and solved all his problems right then.

Feelings can steer us in the wrong direction, even into a fog, but the light of God gives us fresh eyes to know His presence and to have a better understanding of our situations. David is learning how to strengthen his faith, how to have hope in the waiting, and how to rejoice in the Lord, despite his trials.

In David’s psalm, there is a turning point, a glorious ‘but!’

“But I trust…”

He is done looking into his own heart for answers. Now he turns and really looks into the eyes of the One who is greater than himself and his fears, the Lord of all. He calls things that are not as though they were (Romans 4:17).

When we can remember, in our desperation, that our trust and our dependence is not on ourselves, but on a Mighty God, we are remembering the solid rock on which we stand. God’s Spirit lives in us to remind us of this every day.

Then we can see that we are being made holy by the Father, and we can be thankful in His powerful presence. He is there, always there. Our mourning turns into dancing. Our despair turns into praise.

The circumstances may remain the same, but the fear, resentment and sadness inside the darkness fade into an all-consuming heart-felt worship of a Majestic and Awesome Father God. We cling to Him alone.

What we wanted before doesn’t seem as fearful or terrible when we remember that He, indeed, is with us.

Certainly, in our times of darkness, our eyes and ears become aware of others who need our experience of Him. We can comfort those who are going through what we have gone through.

We teach them to bring their longings and sadness and cast their cares upon a Mighty God. We show them that we can still rejoice, for God is good.

Lord God, there are so many who remain in impossibly hard times. And we all cry, “How long, Lord?” Please open up our eyes to your light. Let us know your goodness. Help us to see and learn and grow during our dark times. Walk with us. Strengthen our faith and give us hope. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Heart Full of Love

“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. It was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer. After he has suffered, he will see the light of life and be satisfied” (Isaiah 53:5, 10, 11).

This whole chapter in Isaiah profoundly touches my heart.

We have all felt the crush of our spirits, but most of us have never been disfigured or marred beyond human likeness (vs 14).

We’ve had trials that felt impossible to handle.

Jesus was despised and rejected (vs 3), yet He didn’t open His mouth (vs 7) to defend Himself.

“To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth. When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly” (I Peter 2:21-23).

All week, I’ve been pondering, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Luke 6:45).

Jesus’ heart was full of love, so full that He was willing to go the distance it took to save the object of His love.

What is my heart filled with?

What talk might others hear pouring out of my mouth when it’s my turn to carry my cross?

I don’t believe that every circumstance calls for muted words, but I do believe that our attitudes should reflect the cross of Christ in every situation. A wonderful goal to keep constantly before us would be such an attitude.

Sometimes, because of the nature of the situation, confrontational truth must be spoken, but after the truth is expressed, our servant silence becomes a release for God to speak His words into hearts that need to hear Him more than us. (These are unique circumstances in which we feel God’s Spirit especially calling us to get out of the way and hush ourselves.)

Any moment that God breaks through our hard hearts and sets us free in the attitude of Christ are moments of breathtaking total dependence on Him. These moments are like flying and soaring above our trials, where Satan cannot reach. We are giving control over to the Father, and therefore, we remain at peace.

Certainly, Jesus blows me away with His trust in His Father!

“…fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2).

Yet, unlike Jesus, we are flawed. We sin. We make mistakes that He never made. Sometimes, trials and crushing storms come our way in which a ray of light abruptly awakens our spirits and changes us, forever. In the trial, we hear perhaps a clear truth that we wouldn’t have heard otherwise.

Because we are human and feel the wounds, the trial hurts us. We cry and wrestle with our feelings.

Yet, we have a Savior who has gone before us in joy, One whom we can follow and in whom we can entrust our very breath.

Walk with me just a little further in these thoughts.

There are times we choose to mute ourselves, as did Jesus. In the silence, not only can truth come to us, but truth can come to others.

After the cross, Jesus was resurrected from the dead and ascended to Heaven to be with His Father, as He predicted. The disciples were instructed to stay in the city until they were clothed on high (Luke 24:39). The day of spiritual renewal came on Pentecost, a day in which God’s spokesman, Peter, stood and addressed the crowd.

“….This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross. But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him” (Acts 2:23-24).

During Peter’s speech, they were “cut to the heart” and asked, “What shall we do?

Before the cross, Jesus had determined that loving silence toward His enemies was for a greater purpose than the need to express His pain or even His truth.

Silence (in passionate prayer to God) is a sacred place of laboring, a place of possibilities and new birth. Certainly, the wait can last for years or the fruit we hope for may never come. Yet, in worldwide situations, at any given moment, people are turning to the Lord because someone decided to hold their tongue and let God do a mighty work through the laying down of their lives.

Peter was used by God to speak. God is perpetually rising up spokesmen (and women) in His kingdom as well as others He rises up to keep quiet.

Today, is God calling you to speak or to be silent?

Lord Jesus, thank you for my trials that always teach me something more of you. Thank you for going before me in such humility, courage and strength and for giving your life that I may be saved. Thank you for the fruit that comes from living my life for you, alone. I ask for your strength to empower me this day. Help me to walk in your light. You are my life. I bow to you, my King and my Lord. In Jesus name, Amen.