How Long, Lord?

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me. Psalm 13

Sometimes, life simply fails us at moments when we most need to be lifted up, and because we are human, we hurt. We become confused and can be in despair as David so poignantly expressed of himself.

Today’s psalm may have been written during King Saul’s pursuit and threats to David. David was at the end of his rope.

Yet, somehow in just a few verses, he found his peace once again.

Though I love watching movies. I have always found it interesting that the characters are faced with impossible problems in each segment, but somehow by the end of 30-45 minutes, a bow is nicely wrapped around each and every issue, and generally everyone goes home happy and satisfied (except for the bad guy).

“No way!” we cry! But we still love watching these shows. We love happy endings.

It dawned on me as I read today’s Psalm that David accomplished this. His circumstances didn’t change, but by the end of his rantings and ravings, his soul found rest in his God. He was satisfied.

I think this is beautiful! And the process he went through is something we can all do.

At the beginning of his agonizing prayer, his situation had left him feeling abandoned by God. Most of us have felt this way. We may KNOW in our heads that God exists, but we want Him to show up and be active in our difficult trials.

Yet, what would it be like if God really did leave us? In reality, we wouldn’t be able to go forward. A universe without Him would be void and lost.

In his trial, David still believed God was near. Why cry out to Him if He had disappeared? The psalm simply speaks of David’s authentic struggles before the Lord concerning his greatest and deepest hurts.

When a woman is giving birth, the labor pains feel like they will last forever. The struggle is long and wearying. But when the child comes forth the pain is forgotten.

David, in a sense is giving birth (as are we in our struggles). He is going through something in which God is right there with him and is moving in mighty ways all around him. One day the running (from Saul) will stop. One day, God will make things new. One day the birth will be complete. But for now, David complains to his One and Only. The One who hears his cries as he expresses ANYTHING that sits in his heart, ANYTIME.

He begs God to give him light. And though God still ‘hides his face,’ David is being taught how to see more clearly and in a deeper way than if God came and solved all his problems right then.

Feelings can steer us in the wrong direction, even into a fog, but the light of God gives us fresh eyes to know His presence and to have a better understanding of our situations. David is learning how to strengthen his faith, how to have hope in the waiting, and how to rejoice in the Lord, despite his trials.

In David’s psalm, there is a turning point, a glorious ‘but!’

“But I trust…”

He is done looking into his own heart for answers. Now he turns and really looks into the eyes of the One who is greater than himself and his fears, the Lord of all. He calls things that are not as though they were (Romans 4:17).

When we can remember, in our desperation, that our trust and our dependence is not on ourselves, but on a Mighty God, we are remembering the solid rock on which we stand. God’s Spirit lives in us to remind us of this every day.

Then we can see that we are being made holy by the Father, and we can be thankful in His powerful presence. He is there, always there. Our mourning turns into dancing. Our despair turns into praise.

The circumstances may remain the same, but the fear, resentment and sadness inside the darkness fade into an all-consuming heart-felt worship of a Majestic and Awesome Father God. We cling to Him alone.

What we wanted before doesn’t seem as fearful or terrible when we remember that He, indeed, is with us.

Certainly, in our times of darkness, our eyes and ears become aware of others who need our experience of Him. We can comfort those who are going through what we have gone through.

We teach them to bring their longings and sadness and cast their cares upon a Mighty God. We show them that we can still rejoice, for God is good.

Lord God, there are so many who remain in impossibly hard times. And we all cry, “How long, Lord?” Please open up our eyes to your light. Let us know your goodness. Help us to see and learn and grow during our dark times. Walk with us. Strengthen our faith and give us hope. In Jesus’ name, Amen.