God Whispers (Anger Series 6th of 9)

As I study anger versus peace, the passage about Cain and Abel (Genesis 4:2-7) continues to provide great treasures for me to ponder. Consider how “Abel kept flocks,” and “Cain worked the soil.”  I noticed that each brother had his own unique giftedness. Yet, God seems to have given them clear instructions regarding worship and sacrifices. That’s why a few verses later God could have favor on one and not the other.

Similarly, you may have talents that I don’t have and vice versa, but we all must follow God’s way no matter how hard it stretches our personalities.

We equip ourselves, no matter who we are or think we are, to hear God more than enemy whispers. Last week in my blog, we imagined together what words might have been whispered in Cain’s ear by the enemy. What words would Satan have seductively and softly spoken to him regarding God’s ‘impossible’ requests and his own individuality?

The thought-life is an area that holds incredible secrets to curing anger. Might God have been whispering in Cain’s ear as well? Cain would have had to listen very closely in order to drown out the noise of the enemy.

Likewise, so do I. My mind must distinguish between what is true and false. When I choose Satan’s voice over the Father’s, my life doesn’t go very well.

Cain listened to the enemy and then was filled with rage when he discovered God’s disfavor. He acted like a spoiled child not getting the attention he wanted and not being chosen (as was Abel). Jealousy and selfishness reigned over his heart.

Stop for a minute and consider: I am human. I have days in which I fail to suitably handle much of anything. Not only am I not at my best, I’m at my worst. That doesn’t mean I’m acting like Cain by throwing a temper tantrum and disappointing God. It simply means I’m having a bad day. Everyone has bad days.

If you came to me and wanted to express the anger in your life, I would have great compassion for you. I would listen to your story and I cry with you. I would get angry along with you. And I hope you would do the same for me. Our stories need to be heard. I’m not writing this blog to judge and make robots of us all with no emotions. I am simply opening up the sky a little wider than it was before and helping to set us free. We’re all in this together. Sometimes talking through our anger with God and with safe people helps us to see things in a clearer light.

So, when I’m having a bad day, I warn my loved ones by telling them that I am out-of-sorts, and ask them to save the deeper discussions and decisions for another day. My loved ones do the same with me. It’s a kindness we give each other out of love. I can still be humble and learn from these days how to better handle them next time. But I try not to spend much time dwelling on anything except God’s grace and comfort. I don’t beat myself up and call myself a failure.

I have found that God brings comfort in so many ways if I make myself aware of his presence. These moments of reassurance don’t always come from the sources I would choose for myself, but God always provides for me.

Now, if these rare bad days turn into months and years, something isn’t right. That’s when I know I need to address the deeper issues. The bad day isn’t just about needing a nap or a break, but about my heart.

When I subconsciously choose the same path as Cain, what is my anger about? My anger always has a goal. I am looking to somebody or something on this earth to supply my needs. What am I looking for when I am angry?

Other people’s fear and compliance of my demands were mentioned last week, but let’s go a little further. Sometimes, I get angry because I seek attention, I desire sympathy, I want to stir up pity, or I long for some practical help in chores that should be shared.
Yet, when has my anger given back to me any of these benefits, ever?

In reality, anger tends to cause my counterpart to dig in his or her heels more than ever. Anger typically stirs up the opposite of kindness. Terrible words are spoken, because everyone tries to win the battle of loudest and smartest. When it all comes down to it, I wonder what good anger promotes.

I may tell others that I am ‘hurt,’ ‘frustrated’ or ‘irritated’ at that person. However, truth be told, I am angry, pure and simple.

If I could investigate the thoughts Jesus might have held onto, what whispers of God would He have continuously fed his mind and obediently heeded in order to keep himself from sinning in anger?
“I am God’s Son and He loves me.“
“My Father is good.“
“I cannot really trust anything or anyone on this earth, but I can trust God at all times.“
“God is enough.“

That’s why when Jesus did feel frustrated or angry, it was right and good. His motives were never self-seeking. His eyes were always on the Father’s will.

Anger isn’t a bad word. What can be labeled as bad are things that take up residence and come out of our heart of hearts.

During this study, I oftentimes remember letting loose of my anger, like a toddler happily splashing in a puddle. Yet, God wants to give me a glimpse of His vast blue ocean. In other words, being angry all the time is like being in a kiddy pool. I think I’m having fun stomping and playing in these trickling drips of water (anger can be invigoratingly empowering). Yet, God has more energizing waves, wise depths, beautiful sights, and abundant living than I can imagine as I find myself leaving the small puddle and heading in the direction of the deep blue sea.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

All my life, I have learned nuggets of wisdom either directly or indirectly from a variety of people who have led me to the broader, wider seas of God and this wisdom frees my soul.

It’s the same with this study. Satan wants me to be angry. He wants me to think that perpetual, angry responses are normal. He wants to come inside my head and make me argue how right I am and how wrong the other person is. But God tells me that anger doesn’t have to be a part of everyday life. I realize that I don’t have to be addicted to anger and its poison. I can learn from Jesus when anger is appropriate and pure and right.

As I continue to absorb all I can to uproot selfish anger, I think to myself, “Wouldn’t it be nice if a beeper went off to warn me of upcoming anger. It would give me a chance to gather myself and pray about my response. I would become well-trained in ruling over my anger and in refusing sin from crouching at my door. I would keep anger from becoming my master. I would turn off the TV, put down my book, or get off the phone, so I could search my heart for sin.”

But it doesn’t work that way. God wants me to arm myself and stand in His word in the day of trouble. He wants me to spend time with Him and become like Him. He wants me to be so filled with His peace, that when anger catches me by surprise, I am able to respond well.

When do I feel most at peace?

I find myself calming down when I sit before God in the quiet and when I stop all the thoughts of the day. That’s when I have room to hear His loving whispers more than at any other time. Finding that place of stillness can become a habit even in the midst of great stress or trials.

Sometimes, however, I cannot seem to stop the onslaught of negative thinking. These moments are when I feel most angry. What do I do with my anger?

Do I stuff it, scream it or speak confrontation about it?

The answer is no to the first two. Whether or not I should speak up is between my God and me. What does He want me to do?

When my thoughts continue to cycle into negative stuff, I confess it to God. I know He hears me. I know He is for me. I purposefully head for the opposite of what my feelings dictate, and then I serve, laugh or bless. Soon, from past experience, I know that the overwhelming thoughts will stop. Satan’s attacks are never fun. But they do eventually come to an end.

I want God’s peace. So, I look for signs that anger is approaching.

For instance:
Loving touches become bothersome.
Complaints about stupid (nitpicky) stuff intensify.
Snapping at people over nothing increases.
There is more talk behind another person’s back (in other words, I’m not saying it to their face, therefore the feelings build up).

Currently, I am attempting to train myself to speak my anger out loud if the occasion calls for it, and then go on with my life without dwelling on the issue. This requires faith. This is my “Abel offering,” without which my offering is unacceptable.

Here are some examples of being direct and speaking up:
“That hurt my feelings.“
“I sure could use some help in here.“
“Could you say that in a kinder voice?“
“I wasn’t aware of your needs; next time, just tell me.“
“I don’t feel up to that today; maybe tomorrow.“

When my counterpart responds with an apology, or offers help, or the rain stops and I am able to go to my favorite event, or the food tastes better this time (in other words, when things go my way), and I still find myself agitated and irritable, that’s when I know it’s time to pull away and sit in the quiet with my Father.

Sometimes, there are some deeper anger issues that take time to heal; that’s okay. I give myself time and always work towards freeing myself of the bare, cold of bitterness.

The following paragraph includes Albert Barnes’ Commentary Notes but in my own words:

Abel had a warm faith that included confession of sin, gratitude for God’s mercy, and obedience to his will. Cain’s stance toward God was not one of faith but was bare and cold. There was no penitent returning to God, no humble acceptance of his mercy, and no submission to his will.

Albert Barnes goes on to say, “…there is a difference in the things offered. The one is a vegetable offering, the other an animal; the one a presentation of things without life, the other a sacrifice of life. Hence, the latter is called πλείων θυσία  pleiōn thusia; there is “more in it” than in the former. The two offerings are therefore expressive of the different kinds of faith in the offerers…The fruit of the soil offered to God is an acknowledgment that the means of this earthly life are due to him. This expresses the barren faith of Cain, but not the living faith of Abel. The latter has entered deeply into the thought that life itself is forfeited to God by transgression, and that only by an act of mercy can the Author of life restore it to the penitent, submissive, loving heart; He slays the animal of which he is the lawful owner, as a victim, thereby acknowledging that his life is due for sin; he offers the life of the animal, not as though it were of equal value with his own, but in token that another life, equivalent to his own, is due to justice if he is to go free by the as yet inscrutable mercy of God.”

Father, I listen in the quiet for your voice. I don’t want to be so shallow that the only way for me to have peace is for everything to go well. I want to learn to have peace (not anger) when everything isn’t going well! Help my offering today to have more in it than simply trying to give a half-hearted bare minimum. Help me to completely follow Jesus who gave His life for my sin. May my offering never require something in return from your hand. Give me a heart that acknowledges the nothing that is due to me, but I have everything I want in you Lord. I give to you wholeheartedly, my life and breath. In Jesus name, Amen.