“Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and gives us into the hands of the Midian. Judges 6:13
In last week’s blog, we discussed how Gideon’s visitor found him hiding in the winepress. He was threshing his wheat in secret, hoping to keep his food from being ruined by the oppressive Midianites. But the visitor told him, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”
Now Gideon has questions:
We don’t ‘feel’ like you’re with us. We feel abandoned. If you are with us, why have all these troubles come upon us? In verse 15, he pushes harder by saying, “How can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest, and I am the least in my family.”
Ever asked these questions before?
Oppressive circumstances often come into our lives that can dispirit even the best of men and women. Everyone else seems to be receiving their miracle. But somehow, we are left out of the celebration. We still suffer through our disappointments and anxieties.
I’ve joined a friend in pausing a few activities to get to know God better. One of our assignments is to make a list of what we expect God to do during this time. And then…we are to throw the list away and just BE with Him (no expectations allowed)!
God doesn’t have a set formula He follows in flawless sync with each of His children. And sometimes His children will endure hardships that take our hearts down to the pit.
The pit is the place where Gideon was parked (and stuck). Yet, in verse 14, “The Lord turned to him and said, ‘Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?’
He didn’t even answer Gideon’s questions. He just said, “Go!”
In between the lines, I hear Him saying, “Are you hesitating at what I’m asking you to do, Gideon, until you have it all together? Do you believe that you are too fragile to have faith in God to go ahead of you in power? Is your INDEPENDENCE of me the source of your fear. You think you have to do this all on your own? You can’t! I’m not expecting that from you. And not everyone around you will approve or even understand what you’re doing. Lean in to ME. Even if all you have is a tiny spark of strength, go with what little you have. And know WHO is sending you!”
In verse 16, He says, “I will be with you.”
In other words, I will give you all you need for this momentous task. I will go before you. Stop looking at what you lack (mentioned in last week’s blog). You will never improve enough or look good enough to match the wonders of God. Remember always that this is about ME, not you.
Sometimes, the barren tank that holds my stamina and fortitude is barely above empty. The disappointments of life strain to dry up my soul, thirsty as a forsaken desert in the midday sun.
What I remember about deserts in the Bible is that they have a peculiar way of leading God’s people back to Him …in such a way that they run to Him alone and above everything else!
Gideon was in a perfect place in his life to receive the Lord’s word and to respond to the call of God.
Lord, give us strong faith to come to you for our tasks, as we, too, are in the perfect place of feeling so not-enough. There is nothing you can’t do, and there is nothing we can do (on our own). Help us to SEE past the reliance we have on ourselves. Help us to see you, God, to know you, Jesus, and to follow you, Holy Spirit. Help us to comprehend in the deepest places of our hearts how surrounded we are by your mighty strength, your heavenly hosts of angels and your son’s blood of protection. YOU can do these things that we fail miserably at even trying. We are NOT abandoned. Help us not to miss the miracles that come into US when we step forward in the mystery of faith and in the adventure of releasing everything to you. Give us surrendered hearts of obedience and the ability, simply to take the next step toward trusting you. In Jesus name, Amen.
Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Eph. 4:30-32
Today we will look into another aspect of steering away from our wrong choices (even when we are antagonized). We will learn more about how discernment is really a strong desire to hear God’s Holy Spirit.
This past week my family lost a dear loved one, 89 years old, and of all people who exemplified this strong desire for the Spirit of God, it was her. Her whole life she followed Him. In this, I too, want to take in all I can to grasp how to follow the same path.
The first point I’ll make according to today’s verse is that sadly, we all have it within us to grieve or even quench (I Thess. 5:19) God’s Spirit and thus make terrible decisions. Today’s verse explains some of the ways we do that through our bitterness and anger.
When I use my emotions to hurt or discourage God’s people, the Spirit may be even more grieved than when I fail to perfectly carry out His guidance in discernment (which we’ve studied all this time). In fact, how we spend our time discerning the way we treat His people is probably more important than any other decision.
Before going further in this post, take a moment to read through the entire fourth chapter of Ephesians. List ways the Holy Spirit guides us in discernment in our relationships with others. Write down what discernment is and is not and list qualities you discover that would better define the word itself.
Here is ‘my’ list:
Discernment is urgent, humble, gentle, patient, loving, unified, peace-filled, grace-filled, works- of-service-oriented, joined, building each other up; not dark, not hardened; puts on the new self; not false but true, not speaking unwholesome things; doesn’t grieve the Holy Spirit; not bitter, raging, angry or gossiping, but kind, compassionate and forgiving.
The chapter you just read is all about relationship. In our connections with each other, wisdom tells us that the Spirit may prompt us like He did in the past. But, He may also lead us to take an alternative path, way out of our comfort zones. In other words, yesterday’s discernment in a situation may be different from today’s discernment and then a whole new way of handling it tomorrow. Knowing this helps us to be flexible with how the Spirit leads us in relating to each other and in emptying ourselves of expectations of what we think God wants us to do.
We ask ourselves questions like, how much is too much to speak? What is the right amount of confrontation or revealing of my feelings? Sometimes, the less words the better. We learn to want, more than anything else, what the Spirit wants because of our faith in His goodness. Once we make a decision through the Spirit of God, we don’t look back. In faith, we keep our eyes on Him and go forward.
The second point is simply a few links to help us better understand the Spirit of God. The following links will take you to a few of the devotions in the words of Oswald Chambers – My Utmost For His Highest. They both speak of our desire to follow God’s Spirit.
Of course, there are wrong reasons to desire God’s Spirit. This is my third point. In Acts 8:9-25, Simon wanted the gift of the Holy Spirit so he could learn more magic. He wanted power. He was pursuing miracles more than he was pursuing God. Acts 8:18 speaks of how Simon wanted to buy the Holy Spirit for the excitement of the miracle.
Is it possible to confuse my desire for discernment with my desire for a magical experience so that I can gain attention? It is very right to share testimonies, but for only one reason, to glorify God.
We must ask ourselves what our motive is when we share our stories.
Fourth, in the times we feel ‘called’ by God’s Spirit, it is not a moment to enjoy (though we will have pleasure in following the Him), but to work. It is not an opportunity to be comfortable.
When you receive a birthday gift from your best friend, what does that look like? The kindness brings a smile to your lips and makes you feel special and loved. However, the Holy Spirit is not a birthday gift to make you smile. His gift is calling you to a higher plane.
This leads us to the fifth point. After writing in I Corinthians 12 about gifts of tongues and other such things, Paul ends in verse 31 by saying, “Now eagerly desire the greater gifts.” What follows is the famous chapter on love. I Corinthians 13 says that the gift of tongues and prophecy are great, but greater still is the gift of loving one another.
As we become aware of our God-given talents, we must remember that the greatest way to expend our energies is to love what is unlovable. We are choosing to be on a higher plane when we love what is hard to love.
We are most alive when we are loving and actively giving. It is the way God made us. When we choose such lives, the Spirit of God moves and acts in and through us in ways that, on our own, we are not capable. Love is our purpose for living. Love promotes godly discernment.
As we continue to fervently feed our desire to become more like Christ and bend with His Spirit for the sake of God’s kingdom and not for our own benefit, Gal. 5:22,23 reveals to us, through the Spirit’s fruit, a way to know that we are truly listening, which is the sixth point. The fruit that speaks of our oneness with Him is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (many of the things we just listed from Eph. 4). Every moment we live, when we lean on the Holy Spirit for truth, His fruit will be brought about in our lives.
The seventh point in the Christian walk and of the Holy Spirit’s presence and fruit within us is to come clean about how much we really want, deep in our souls, to have His rule over our lives. When we are at our wit’s end for guidance, the Holy Spirit can show us the way. But how can He lead us when we are still well-supplied with all sorts of answers of our own.
Our hearts are full of self. They must be emptied.
Discernment is the willingness to start over, start from scratch, to be flexible to hear something different or new and be empty so we can be filled with His wisdom.
When I have no more answers and have come to the end of my rope, it is time to stop thinking, to sit before my Father and simply cry out His name and worship.
Here are the new additions to the Discernment Wheel from last week:
Discernment is:
Luke 18:31 Following this verse as an example of Jesus calling His disciples to a new place Using love to cast out a spirit of fear Knowing that some confrontations or truth may better be heard from others, not me Overseeing a heart of faithfulness vs gossip Not a promise of great results (or calm), yet I know that I have done his will Not free from battles (Jesus quoted scripture) *Doesn’t mean passive; it is important during a conflict to pause (for a time to regroup) in order to have a chance to come to truth and then relay it; then, I speak it with passion *Not my ability to figure it out *Not followed through by my power *Not necessarily about having good feelings
[*These additions aren’t in previous lessons, but added through comments.]
Father, in all my dealings with people, whether loved ones or strangers, lead me through your Spirit. Show me the way to love. Give me the fruit I need in order to show everyone who you are. In my decisions, help me to pause and consider your Holy Spirits guidance in all things. In Jesus name, Amen.
Over the weekend, I spoke with one of my heroes. She is a young widow as of 1 year and 5 months ago. And everything in life has narrowed to one focus: Jesus.
Her husband and father of their precious children is terribly and intolerably missed. She wishes everyday that she could see him again. But if a magic wand could be waved, she would never ask him to leave what he knows now just to come back to her. She is happy for his happiness in Heaven. Being without him, however, is impossibly tough every moment of every day. She painfully picks up one foot, puts it in front of the other, cries in her grief, works at her job, smiles for her grand kids, and lives life for everyone around her, because God still has her here for a reason.
Other forms of grief on this earth carry with them the same never-ending personal sorrows as this sweet woman’s. Sometimes our lives here are beyond our ability to endure.
Yet, even in our unstoppable, terrible tears there are treasures in the grief.
Is that possible?
Every day I turn to the following link to meditate on one of the many names of God;
This focus helps me to put my life into perspective and to have thoughts that are centered on my Creator. He loves me deeply and dearly even in times when I am beyond sad.
Yesterday, God’s name was: “Jehovah Nissi,” which means, “God is my banner.”
Exodus 17:9-15
Moses said to Joshua, “Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands.” So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword. Then the Lord said to Moses, “Write this on a scroll as something to be remembered and make sure that Joshua hears it, because I will completely blot out the name of Amalek from under heaven.” Moses built an altar and called it The Lord is my Banner.
In my mind, I imagine the name The Lord is my Banner. I hear how the shout of it sounds to my ears. I see His beauty with spiritual eyes. I bend to the ground to touch His clean, white robe. I smell the sweet aroma of such a name, and I taste the sweetness of His name in my mouth. It never leaves me. The name presents a picture of the noble and majestic Son of God.
Whoever comes and stands under His banner and follows Him identifies with Him and not the millions of other banners being lauded and upheld in our world and spread throughout the land. Jehovah Nissi is the true leader and those who follow attempt to be like Him in everything they do. He has already won the victory over everything through His death on a cross. His ways are right, solid, and sure, especially in times of sadness!
When earthly losses or sorrowful trials overtake me, other banners try to draw me into their lure. People do not always do what they should for us. They let us down. They leave us through death or in relational difficulties. Circumstances disappoint and things cannot provide pleasure forever. That makes us sad.
“If only we could turn back and relive former days, we would do things so differently,” we might say. “If only that person or situation would return, or as a living being, would improve who they are: …then all would be right with the world, …we would be so happy and filled up, …we would not be tempted in weakness.”
The banners of regret, of making people or circumstances do what only God can do, of mislabeling ‘right’ as something perfectly doable here on earth (nothing on earth is ever perfectly right), of making our happiness and fullness depend on a good act or a right deed of another; all of these are not even in the same ball park as The LORD is my Banner.
The fact is: what we grieve here on earth can only go so far in making us happy. The object of our grief is and always will be inconsistent or faulty in some way or another. If we really thought it through, even at the height of the greatest memories we have of a person or thing, flaws abound. No one human being and no one circumstance is ideal. We are all limited in our ability to be the single source of joy for anyone else.
We think we can or could have been the greatest giver or the most compassionate friend, which is impossible. Yet memories remind us that even in times when life is at its best, things still can never line up flawlessly. This is when God comes in and teaches us mercy, forgiveness, unconditional and forever love, or contentment, and we learn to find joy even in imperfections.
We still have longings and grief for people. We would love for them to get it right (our definition) or for things to supply us what our needs demand!
When any improvement, change or ideal comes about that used to cause grief because of its lack, it comes only by the Father’s name.
Yet, inside any miracle, it is imperative not to let themiraclebecome our hope. Instead we allow the Father and our obedience to Him always remain at the center of our being.
The Bible speaks of how Jesus did miracles for the sick. Yet, eventually those people died. Physical restoration was not the point of these priceless stories. The point was Jesus. The focus was Jesus. He always has been and always will be above all else.
In Elizabeth Goudge’s My God and My All, St. Francis began a movement among men and women that transformed the world for years to come. But at one point, factions of his own group turned on him, wanting more than a strict life of following Christ (they wanted their shoes, books, beds, and homes). Francis had given up all of these for a life of poverty and simplicity. His followers had done the same up until now. To him this life was crucial to the example the movement set for the world.
In the end, St. Francis surrendered the very movement he started (at least in the way he started it). He wept and fought, but when the time came, he let go in abandon,
…and then, he experienced Christ in a whole new way.
This great man was not only willing to give up all material possessions for the sake of Christ. Even more, in his greatest trial, he was willing to give up his followers (his ministry), something into which he had invested and poured his life. He had loved, served, and taught them what the God of the universe (in his mind) wanted of His followers. He did this for whoever would listen all the way to the end of his life. It sickened him for the movement to change. To him, the change was desperately wrong. Yet, he gently, kindly, and willingly gave up all when nothing else could be done, and even served those who came against him.
Was it possible that those whom he gave up might be returned to him? Surely, God could have done and still today can do anything. But often times, the things we cling to are the very things He calls us to relinquish into His hands in order to hear His greater calling and to undergo a greater transformation for different purposes than what was previously known.
Perhaps you and I will spark many people to love the Lord with greater passion. Maybe we will bring many souls to Christ. Maybe lives will be changed because of what our Strong God can do through these weak vessels of ours. Yet, in the end, perhaps our best accomplishments on earth will come through relinquishing all we love for love of Christ, relinquishing all we love for the treasures of our Almighty God. And in the relinquishing, we wait. We wait in anticipation for what He will bring about.
The question is: am I holding on to ANYTHING that is more dear to me than The Lord is my Banner?
God is able to take any marriage, parent, single man or woman, any illness, estranged relationship, any job or disbelief, and bring about healing and renewal. So we yet hope in these great longings that are right and true. We do what we can to fight for truth, and we cry out to God. But our great hope, our greater treasure, our greatest cry is most found in the miracle worker Himself, not in the miracle.
Psalm 16:11 – You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Lord God of all creation, praying with our hands raised, for you are our Banner, we come and stand next to you and identify with you, forever. Our identity is not in any person or thing of earth, not even in our selves, our nations, race, gender, politics, our preferences in life or our beliefs. With our body and soul, and with all our hearts, we praise and join YOU and all you ask of us. Some things in life are simply not fair or right. We have a hard time understanding So we get angry, hurt and frustrated. Jesus, we know you weep as we weep in our worship of you. We know we are not alone, for you are with us. Our tears fall and become part of our worship to you. All our ‘stuff’ ends up at the foot of your throne with YOU. There is a part of us that gets angry with YOU. We forgive even YOU (in our delusions, for we feel wronged and somehow you are to blame). This is an arrogant thing. Perhaps you allow circumstances that are not honoring of your name, so that we who are always being watched by the world can be examples of relinquishment in other people’s circumstances that feel dishonoring to them. We realize that our forgiveness of you is really our releasing of you to act and do what is best in our lives, even if it is much harder than we think we can bear, even though we KNOW that what things we pray for and what things we want is what YOU want, even if we are impatient for you to act, to change this or that person or this or that circumstance, now! Vindicate us against the principalities of darkness, Father. May all our hopes and dreams come true, but even more may our love for you increase. May our loyalty to your banner deepen. May all of us in this world come to Christ and do your will with all our hearts. Let your light gain the victory in all things. If all we do for the rest of our lives is to obey your every word, then our lives will have counted for something great in your eyes. We bow ourselves, we touch the sky as we relinquish all we are and all we will be to you, to do with as you please. In Jesus precious name, Amen.
Search me, Oh God, and know my heart Psalm 139:23 (ASV) 