Uplifting, Gentle Responses

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

I love the word gentle.
It’s such a peaceful word. Whereas ‘harsh’ is simply, well…harsh!

Harsh typically comes out of my mouth before I have a chance to think. It’s a spur of the moment action that gives into anger.

Then, there are gentle answers which take extra self-discipline. I don’t always want to spend that much energy. I want the easy road to simply give into my feelings and the perceived injustice of the moment.

Last week, I gave a kindness to a person, and she said, “I know you don’t just do this because we’re family, you do this because you love me.” She was right.

However, it’s also true that I don’t heed scripture just because it’s in the Bible. I follow these because I love my Father, and I trust Him. I trust that giving a gentle answer is better than a harsh one, but I’ve also experienced it!

Gentleness is a way to preserve my joy. It is my job to refuse to let joy be robbed from me, even in angry situations.

Sometimes, I’m not honest with myself about my anger. I’m like, “I’m not angry, I’m just irritated or frustrated.” Yet, my reaction is defensive instead of truly including and listening to the other person. My reply gives away what is in my heart.

In fact, my reply generally has NOTHING to do with the topic of conversation that bothered me in the first place and EVERYTHING to do with my heart.

When receiving instruction or advice (unasked for) should I not respond with gentleness? Could our different views be respected instead of smashed by my ugliness? Might the ill-timed comment be covered with love instead of defensiveness?

Sometimes anger isn’t because someone did or said something, it’s because I am having a bad day.

Gentleness versus unkindness helps to stop my annoyance.

There is something humble about speaking gently. There is even a hint that gentleness originates in my mind. If I am gentle to the other person in my head, than I can speak gently to that person when things aren’t pleasant between us. If I allow unkindness to run rampant, most likely, at the first sign of conflict, my words will not be gentle.

It all starts with my mind.

Sometimes, I need to learn to speak gently to myself. I make mistakes, too. God’s grace is so broad, broad enough, even for me. Speaking harshly to myself when I’ve messed up doesn’t do one bit of good and typically does further harm.

Father, I love you and I’m so thankful for your words of wisdom. You are kind to me, even when I mess up. Your compassion overwhelms me. Your gentleness inspires me. Help me to be like you. May my words float upwards to the heavens to glorify your blessed name. In Jesus name, Amen.