Crave

“Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own” (II Samuel 12:9)

King David was on his rooftop when he saw Bathsheba and wanted her for himself. Eventually one sin led to another, and He was willing to go as far as committing murder in order to get his way.

This is the passage I opened last Sunday and then I asked myself two questions:

1. What do ‘I’ crave so much that I stay fixed on it until it’s mine? …I would do anything to have it.
2. Although murder isn’t something I would do, what about all-consuming anger (which Jesus says is like murder – Matt. 5:21-22)? What things upset and irritate me so much, I talk myself into doing something I normally would never do, or I fall apart or become out of control?

Typically when I think of the word ‘crave,’ I think of food. But, this word can apply to anything I become obsessed with. The craving takes over my mind and heart. It seems to go beyond my ability to think in a level headed way.

If I really concentrate, the first question could cover so much: relationships I try to fix, a reputation I want to uphold and will go to great lengths to pursue, people I seek to impress, arguments I attempt to win, children I try to control, food I try to make into something it was never meant to be.

Certainly, there’s a difference between my responsibility in a relationship compared to desiring that relationship to be a certain thing for me and driving that person to fit my definition of their role in my life.
There is a difference between doing good because it’s the right thing compared to doing good because I want people to like me.
There is a difference between standing for truth compared to losing control of my emotions and compelling others to go my way.
There is a difference between godly discipline of my children done in love compared to making them be something so I look good.
There is a difference between making wise, healthy choices for my diet compared to believing my diet will help me reach some sort of self-made utopia, bringing me eternal happiness.

The second question helped me to think about the same type of things as the first one only from a different angle. What life circumstances upset me so much that I would fall apart? My answers lead me to the cravings for which I would do anything to satisfy, even in a fit of rage.

Think about it. When someone asks you to do something for them, does that bring about an internal negative response? What about when someone tries to teach or instruct you, and it makes you feel stupid and judged. Maybe you don’t reveal it on the outside, but how do you respond inside?

The Bible says:
*Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance. (Proverbs 1:5)
*Instruct a wise man, and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man, and he will increase his learning. (Proverbs 9:9)
*Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid. (Proverbs 12:1)

What other things bother you, so much that you can’t sleep?
When do you become so angry that kindness slips from your mind?

Our emotions are real and we must address them, but they can sometimes be very revealing, if only we would take a moment to listen to what they’re saying to us.

Father, help me to crave you alone. Everything else fades into the background. You provide my food, sleep and friends. You make straight paths to your will for me. Help me extend my hand to give and bless and not to grab. Lead me to those who will show me how to be content and wise. When they speak or instruct, help me to listen as if I were listening to you. Help me to be humble. I choose a peaceful and thankful heart. Let your light abide in me forever. Father, may I never despise the word of the Lord by my misdeeds and sinful choices. In Jesus name, Amen.