Handing over Jesus

Luke 23:23-25 But with loud shouts they insistently demanded that he be crucified, and their shouts prevailed. So Pilate decided to grant their demand. He released the man who had been thrown into prison for insurrection and murder, the one they asked for, and surrendered Jesus to their will.

This verse made me pause for thought all week long:

What if Jesus had been handed over to ME?
How might I imagine things would have ended?

In my mind I would never in a million years have taken Jesus to be crucified on a cross. But my actions tell me a different story at times when I lose my way.
During the trials of my week, I remembered this verse. I kept asking myself, what if Jesus was handed over to me right at this moment? This moved me to tears.

Jesus, what would I do with you?

Would I crucify you all over again by giving into weariness, letting it rule me?
Or place a crown of thorns on your head by allowing feelings of confusion or doubt to dictate how I treat the rest of the world?
Or beat you with a whip by refusing to love your people?
Or mock you by forgetting those in need?
Or spit on you through my angry words or pouting spirit?

When those most holy moments or turning points came, I knew I stood at a crossroads.

I wanted to take Jesus’ hand and fall on my knees before Him. I wanted to surrender to HIM and free Him to have full access over me.

Lord, you committed yourself into the hands of the Father. It’s what I do now with you. So many times, I simply forget that every decision I make affects so much more than just me. Being too tired to surrender or being too overwhelmed to listen to your voice  or thinking thoughts like you’re asking too much of me, ultimately causes more trouble and pain than if I had simply stopped and let your presence fill my heart. Jesus, I want my life not to grieve you, but to give you pleasure. Thank you for your grace that covers my sinful ways and thank you for teaching me everyday more about following your sweet will. In Jesus name, Amen.

Prayer of Awakening

Jesus pleaded with His Father; surely there must be another way than the agonizing cup He was to drink. 

Yet, in His final prayer in the garden, He won the stare down with fear. He grabbed rejection by the throat and tossed it aside along with His overwhelming panic, anxiety, and dread. As the bloody droplets of sweat prepared His brow for the puncturing of thorns, He turned to embrace and bear the pain of humanity and humiliation allowing the weight to cleanse His soul and bring complete obedience to his Father. He courageously (even somehow joyfully) marched toward His trials and stomped His feet in confidence atop the turmoil. He allowed himself no wasted moments to argue with the enemy who wanted Him erased from mankind. He knew with everything in Him that the outcome of the Devil’s slander and lies would be absolute, would be powerful and redeeming.
Jesus, unlike Peter, KEPT his eyes fixed on the Father. He succeeded in confidently walking on and over the ocean waves of the religious leader’s revenge, jealousy, and evil plans.
In the midst of His lost credibility, His rocky reputation, and what seemed like His awful failure, the Son of God did not cower or cringe at the shame but was free, solid inside what He knew to be true. 

As His follower, I don’t understand how Jesus was able to be so strong in the face of such terrible circumstances.

Personally, failure isn’t a place I like to be, but one good thing failure can provide is the downfall of my lofty arrogance and pride. (I love the humble quote from St Teresa of Lisieux: “O happy failure, from how many evils have you saved me!”)

The Father’s clear answer to Jesus’ prayer was, ‘no’, as is often His answer to me. There was no other way but death for my Lord.

And so the son of God rose from His knees in the garden. He went forward with strong resolve, and for the sake of God’s kingdom never turned back. After the cross He rose from the grave and then rose to sit at the right hand of the Father. 

I am so far from coming close to Jesus’ ways. But my heart is grateful as He holds before me a light, an example to follow.

Lord Jesus, in the garden of Gethsemane you asked your closest friends, “Why are you sleeping? Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.” I want to take these profound words and apply it to my heart. There is a way out of temptation, and one of those ways is through prayer. Help me not to “fall asleep” in your kingdom but to be awakened to the joy of serving you. Spectacular moments come when, afterwards, I feel the bounty of the Father. Other times, the bounty seems to have slipped through my hands. And then I realize, dear Lord, that there is bounty that can never be taken from me, and it is being in your presence for all my life. Teach me how to carry my own cross with confidence and trust in you. Help me to follow your light. In Jesus name, Amen.